Page 89 of Wild and Unruly
“You make me happy, too.”
“Well then, let’s make you ecstatic.”
I grin and then turn, bracing myself for the confrontation to come. As I walk, my brother’s gaze meets mine, and he looks like he wants to say a million things, but he just watches me walk up.
Mom’s gaze meets mine, and her eyes immediately water, taking in my slowly fading bruises and cuts.
“Oh, baby.” Her voice breaks as her hands gently cup my cheeks before her arms go around me, pulling me tight to her chest. Her body shakes as she sobs, and I hold her tight, hoping that my hug reassures her that I’m okay and that none of this is her fault.
I see my brother over her shoulder shake his head. The anguish he displays crushes me, and I gently let my mom go, watching in appreciation as Stetson steps forward, gently laying his hand on her shoulder and taking her attention.
I walk to my brother, then keep walking until we’re outside of the barn, thankful that it’s mostly concrete in this area so he can get around easier.
For a few moments, we don’t say anything. Just watch eachother with apprehension. I can’t stop recalling our last couple of visits, where he lost his cool on me.
“Bonnie, I—” He stops, then brings a hand to his forehead. I uncross my arms and take a step forward. “I’m so sorry.” His voice breaks on his apology, and I finish crossing to him, kneeling and taking his free hand in mine.
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is my fault,” he says, looking at me sharply, not angry with me, but at the situation. “It’s all my fault. If I had just talked to you. If I had actually tried to live my fucking life, you wouldn’t have felt the need to go after him like that.”
I shake my head, unsure what to say. If the last week taught me anything, it’s that you never know what could happen. I could get hit by a car, struck by lightning, or be beaten by a man who was pissed off. We never know what could come. It was time to take a breath and try to move past the hurt we both felt.
“I’ve been fucking selfish.” He starts shaking his head and looks away, his chin trembles, and something about seeing my brother cry makes me want to break down. “I haven’t been living my life. I’ve been stuck, wondering about the what-ifs and wishing I could go back in time…instead of doing what you and Mom have been doing, which was to go on and make new lives for yourselves.”
“It’s not too late, Mase.”
“I know.” He nods and sighs, wiping away at his cheeks. It was heart-wrenching to see him like this, broken up and lost. “I know it’s not. I just have no idea where to start.”
I stand, shaking my legs out to get the blood flowing again, and sigh, looking around at the ranch and all that it’s given me. Maybe it could give him something too.
“Well, I have some ideas.” I hold up a hand, stopping anykind of retort, but he keeps his mouth shut. “If you’re open to them.”
He shakes his head, misery and grief laid out in his features. “I don’t deserve it, not after what I’ve done.”
“Mason, you’re here. You’re trying for the first time since the accident. That’s no small feat. Cut yourself some slack.”
He glances to the barn and back. “I don’t know if I can stay up this way. Your boyfriend wants to kill me.”
I smile a little and shake my head. “Nah, he just wants you to treat me well.”
“He loves you.”
I nod, keeping that smile and say, “I love him. A lot.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you,” I say, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “I’m here for you, Mason, and if you let them, this family will be here for you too. Dani is brilliant. She can help.”
He swallows and says, “Think she’ll trade for work?”
I try to swallow my excitement, my hope that this was a turning point for not just our relationship as brother and sister, but for his life. All I’ve ever wanted was for him to be happy.
“I think we can work something out.”
Later that night, I lie in bed with Stetson. His arm cradles me to his chest, and I sit there in content silence while dreaming about the future. There was a laptop on his lap, and we were looking at listings for homes.
“What about this?” he asks, his deep voice vibrating through me as I look at each picture he clicks through. There were only about a dozen homes to choose from up here that wecould afford, and since I was unemployed, that list was not very long.
