Page 42 of Wings of Valor
Her words make me freeze, but I shake it off before she notices. Hayliel looks like she wants to say something, but I push a message to her through our connection.No. It’s better if we don’t tell them. Not yet.
She gives me a look that demands an answer but says nothing aside from, “A Seraphim? Aren’t they extinct?”
My grandmother blathers on, and even though I try to listen, I can’t stop my mind from wandering. How the hell do they know there’s a Seraphim in Silver City? Is it Auriel trying to cause confusion among the angels? What’s his end game?
“Oh, my gosh. Is this a young Theo?” Hayliel asks, breaking me out of my spiral.
“He was a rascal, I tell you.”
“You don’t happen to have more photos like this, do you?” Hayliel asks, staring at the photo of me wearing heels and a bow in my hair.
“An entire book. Why don’t I get us some coffee, and we can look through it?”
“Would you mind?” Hayliel directs her question at me, but I’m at a loss for words. I know the book my grandmother is going toget, and I don’t want to be around when she brings it out. I can’t. But how can I explain to Hayliel that looking through all of those memories only causes me pain?
Shit. I should have told her the fucked-up details of my past before we came here. Deep in my soul, I know she wouldn’t be so eager to bring that book out if she knew what it would do to me, but because she has no idea, I can tell just how excited she is.
Dammit. I can’t say no to her.
Praying my voice holds steady, I say, “How about you two look through the book, and I’ll grab what we need for school? Sound good?”
Her eyes meet mine, and I urge her to agree, to let me have this out, because Ican’tsit there and look at that fucking book.
When she nods, I relax a little.
“Come. Help me with the coffee while Theo does his business,” my grandmother says, whisking Hayliel away.
I take a single moment to breathe before heading to the library. As I stand outside the door, I wonder if maybe I should have stayed with my grandmother and asked Hayliel to come find this book. But that would make me a coward.
Bracing myself, I push through the door and get hit with memories.
Anytime my parents and I would visit, this is where we all hung out. This is where we played trivia games and told stories. It’s in this very room I found my love of knowledge. And although that joy remains, so does the pain.
For a moment, it feels as if I can still smell my father’s cologne and my mother’s shampoo. But that’s impossible. Dad’s dead and Mom abandoned me.
I find what I’m looking for on a shelf filled with books on demons. After stuffing the one I came for into my bag without reading it, I search the rest of the titles for anything that could be useful.How to Take Down Demonic Forcescatches my eye,but after flipping through it quickly, I realize it’s all the same shit we already know. Sunblades and sunfire are the best weapons to defeat them. Anything else will only incapacitate them for a short while.
When I’m done, I head back to check on Hayliel, grateful when I find they’ve put the book away. From the look on Hayliel’s face, though, I can tell she knows the full story.
Even though we still have time to kill, we don’t stay much longer. I just need to get out of here. Doesn’t matter where, as long as it’s not in this house full of ghosts.
Hayliel doesn’t argue when we leave and head in the direction of the rune weaver. She doesn’t push me to speak, which I’m grateful for, even though I know I’ll have to say something eventually.
It’s too early when we arrive in the yard of the house we’re supposed to pick up our clothes from. I don’t really want to loiter here, but the thought of going back to my grandparents’ house is far worse than sitting outside a stranger’s home.
Might as well get this over with.
“I take it you know?” I ask. “About my mom and dad.”
Hayliel nods. “We don’t have to talk about it. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have been so eager to see your baby photos if I knew.”
I hate that she’s apologizing as if she’s the one who fucked up. “No. It’s not your fault. I should have told you before. I was just, I don’t know. In my head about it. It’s not something I talk about with anyone.”
“It’s fine, Theo. Seriously. Talk about it or don’t. I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”
“So I don’t repulse you?” I ask, the words barely a whisper. “I’d understand if I did. My own mother abandoned me because of what happened—what was my fault.”
Another angel walks by us on the street, and I immediately stiffen. Hayliel pulls me farther into the yard, disappearing behind a row of hedges.
