Page 50 of Wings of Valor
“Raphael—”
“No. I used to look up to you. I wanted to grow up and be just like my big brother. But then nothing I ever did was good enough. Not compared to the perfect Raduriel. You reveled in our parents’ love and support while never once sticking up for me or protecting me like you promised you would. Gods, it bothered me for so fucking long. It still does. But you know what I’ve learned recently, dear brother? I’m enough all on my own. And just because I’m not the perfect son our parents want me to be doesn’t make me a disappointment. Maybe to them. Maybe even to you. But not to me. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished and the angel I am. I don’t need our parents’ approval—or yours—anymore.”
My heart pounds so hard in my chest, I swear it must be visible through my shirt.
Raduriel says nothing. He looks pale and somehow both shocked and appalled. Hayliel moves closer, tucking herself beneath my arm and giving me some much-needed support.I’m so proud of you, Raph, she says through our connection andI relax against her, feeling the heaviness of this confrontation ease.
“I … Raph,” Rad finally croaks. “That was never my intention. I wanted to save you from their expectations, not drag you down.”
A snort escapes me, sounding loud in the quiet room. “Oh, really? Saving me from their expectations meant always doing what they tell you to, never messing up, and constantly bragging about it every chance you got?”
“Well, yes, actually. I thought if I did everything exactly as they asked, when they asked, they’d let you live your life without the weight of their expectations. Because itisa weight, Raphael.”
“I fucking know!”
“I’m sorry.” Rad reaches out a hand to me but thinks better of it and pulls back. “I’m sorry I failed you. I only ever had good intentions.”
“Well, intention means shit if you don’t back it up with action, and you never once stood up for me. Not when Mom compared my friends to yours. Not when she implied I was an idiot because my grades weren’t as perfect as yours, or that I was a lazy piece of shit for not having a billion extracurriculars. Silence is a fucking choice, Rad. And it’s the only one I’ve gotten from you in a really long time.”
Briathos clears his throat, and fuck, I forgot he was even here.
“We both failed you. I should have spoken up, too. I’m sorry.”
I watch in awe as a tear tracks down my brother’s cheek. When was the last time I saw him cry?
“I’ll do better, Raph. I promise. I’m sorry it ever got this bad. All I wanted was for you to have a normal life out from under their thumb, not become the problem myself. Can we start over? I want to help you get your friends back, even if it’s from the shadows.” His voice is pleading. “This will be on your terms.”
I assess my brother, looking for any signs of bullshit, but I don’t see any. Even though I just drug up all these old hurts, I think I might actually believe him.
Turning to Hayliel, I’m about to ask her what she thinks when I catch the look on her face. “Hayliel, what—”
“Raph,” she whispers. “I know where they are.”
20
“Breathe with me, baby.”
He resists at first but then sucks in a breath. I watch Raphael calm down before me like magic.
He kisses my forehead, and I cherish the moment.
“Thanks, sunshine.”
“I got you.” And I do. Whatever he wants to do about his brother showing up here, I’ll support him. As shitty as it is that Rad and Briathos have shown up, it’s not exactly a bad thing. Not for our cause, and maybe, depending how the rest of this interaction goes, maybe not for Raphael either. Though I’m not sure he’ll see it that way.
He needs to work out this shit with his brother before it festers into something too toxic to escape from.
I watch the conversation unfold and Raphael’s anger rise once more. Theo and I only step in a few times when the progress of information is at a standstill, but the moment they mention the Archangels’ plan to trap Auriel, I lose all semblance of cool.
“So their focus is on Auriel. What a fucking joke.” Blood boils in my veins as I think about the bullshit they’ve been feeding us. Theo takes my clenched fist and gently tugs until I let go. It doesn’t fix everything, but his presence helps.
A little.
Raduriel asks why we’re at the sanctuary, and I almost want to laugh. Good fucking question, buddy. Can we tell them why I’m here? That I’m practically a pawn being used to make weapons all while being lied to? What would they do?
I push my thoughts through the joined mental pathways with Raphael and Theo.I think we should tell them what’s really going on.
Raphael responds immediately.I don’t trust them.
