Page 52 of Wings of Strife
As I gaze up at him now, the pain I saw in his eyes at first is still there. “Can I ask you something?”
22
Istare into Hayliel’s dark blue eyes, knowing I’d answer any question she could think to ask me. “Anything. Always.”
“How come you’re training so hard? You’re a talented fighter, so it doesn’t really seem like you need the extra practice.” She keeps her voice soft, seeming genuinely curious.
I swallow, unsure how to answer, and she squeezes my hand reassuringly, mimicking my actions from earlier. “It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it. I understand.”
Of course she does. This beautiful, selfless angel in front of me has so much compassion and empathy in her heart. It’s shocking for someone who’s been through as much as she has.
I don’t want her to think that I’m holding back because of anything she’s done, and in truth, I’m not even sure why I am. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now, but I just didn’t knowhow.” I sigh, sitting up straighter and preparing to share the horrors of my past. “You know how I sometimes grow a little distant, mostly when demons are around, though sometimes all it takes is just the mention of them, like at the assembly, for me to zone out.”
She nods. “Or like at the barn.”
I give her a sad smile, not even wanting to think about the way I cowered that day. “Well, those are panic attacks, sort of. Past trauma rearing its ugly head, or so I’m told.”
Her brows turn inward. “Past trauma?”
Swallowing takes more effort than it should, but finally I manage to speak. “When I was a teenager, I was best friends with this shy girl who didn’t really fit in with my other friends. Serah was beyond kind, and when she was comfortable around someone, she’d be the weirdest angel, but in the best possible way. My cheeks always hurt from smiling so much whenever I hung out with her.”
My heart fractures just saying her name out loud, something I haven’t done in far too long.
I can tell Hayliel has questions, but however curious she might be, she stays silent, letting me continue at my own pace.
It makes me fall for her even more.
“A friend of mine took an interest in her romantically. He was always hounding me to set them up or invite her to come out with us to the skatepark so she could get to know him. I always refused until finally I just gave in and asked her. I didn’t expect her to say yes, but she did. If I had just kept my mouth shut, she’d still be alive.” My eyes prick, tears threatening to build, but I hold them back.
She squeezes my hand gently. “I’m so sorry.”
Pushing through the hurt, I continue. “The skatepark had always been safe. Rundown? Absolutely. But in all the monthswe spent there after school, we never saw any violence. Except for that day.”
I stare off at the far wall of mirrors but don’t notice my reflection. “A demon showed up that afternoon. The asshole killed my best friend, and it was all my fault.” Try as I might to hold it together, the words come out fractured. Broken. Just like me.
“Oh, Theo,” Hayliel says, tears running down her cheeks. “It’s the demon’s fault. Not yours.”
“No. She was only there because of me! Because I invited her to hook up with that piece of shit coward. Do you know he ran away? He never tried to save her.” My hands ball into fists, shaking with the rage flowing through me.
She latches on to me, her strength pulsing into me. “What he did was awful, and what happened to Serah is a tragedy, but neither of those things is your fault. She chose to go. The demon chose to attack. Neither of those are things you could have controlled, Theo.”
I finally look at her, my eyes burning with the pain of everything I couldn’t change. “When we almost lost you, it brought everything back. I couldn’t save Serah back then, and suddenly it was happening all over again, and I couldn’t save you either.”
Remembering that day hurts just as much, if not more. I thought we’d lost her, and I honestly don’t know that I would have survived if we had.
She grabs my face in her small hands, staring straight into my eyes. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll help you train, all of us will. And if you ever come face to face with the demon who took your friend, you’ll make him pay, and I will gladly help you do it.”
I sense the depth of her conviction through every cell in my body, and suddenly I’m admitting things I should probably keepinside. But life is too short. Nothing is guaranteed, and I need her to know how I feel.
“I love you, Hayliel. You don’t have to say it back, but I just needed you to know.”
Her eyes widen in surprise, but I don’t give her the opportunity to reply before my lips are on hers, my tongue teasing, bolstered with every ounce of feeling I possess for her.
Her touch turns hungry as she pulls me closer still, but it’s not enough. Never close enough.
She straddles me as the kiss turns feral, grinding herself against my trapped erection and shooting blasts of pleasure through me. Fucking hell. This woman will be the death of me.
“Theo,” she pants into my ear as I trail kisses down her neck.
