Page 83 of Sway's Peace
No. Bad thought. Stop thinking bad thoughts.
“Her name was Offwa,” Veesway said, gladly switching topics, his voice filled with longing and pain. “It took me years to find her after we were separated. But by the time I did, it was too late. She was gone. In a way, I am lucky. I at least found her body andwas able to lay her to rest properly. Some cannot even claim that much. And, if nothing else, it was an answer. I could say I knew where she was at last. There was closure in that, even if there wasn’t a lack of pain. Something I could not say for my son.”
He was looking at him again. That deep, loving way that was uncomfortable because it felt too much like it was coming from a stranger. Sway didn’t like it, but he couldn’t figure out a way to say that nicely, so he kept his silence as Veesway grabbed his shoulder.
“I looked for you for so long, my Eefwan,” he said, voice shaking, whistling his words again. “I had given you up for dead, truthfully. I had no hope that I would actually find you. Only for you to come walking into my office one day like it was nothing. How long were you looking for me? How long did you search? It must have been ages.”
Sway couldn’t answer that. The truth would have been devastating for this male that looked at him with such love. The fact that Sway hadn’t once tried to look for his family was, like many other things in his past, something better left unsaid.
“You are back now,” Veesway continued when the silence dragged on. “And it is uncomfortable at times, I know. But you will recover your identity, and you will be able to forget. You are still whole. You are still one of us. We can rebuild this thing between us.”
Sway didn’t say anything, because he wasn’t sure what to say. It was starting to sound like Veesway expected that he would remain here, in this Song, from now on. Like he was going to turn his back on his crew, on his life, and live here permanently.
And the more apparent that became, the more Sway just wished Tanin and the others would return so he could get back on the Humility. Where he really belonged.
Chapter 22
Grace
Dinner wasn’t exactly a comfortable affair. Grace felt bad for thinking it, but when they finally left, she was glad it was over.
Veesway and Vweet frequently lapsed back into their mother tongue. Not like they were deliberately trying to exclude her from the conversation. That was never the vibe she got. Worse. It was like they just kept forgetting she was there.
At one point. Vweet said she should just learn how to understand their tongue. She could never speak it, of course, not if the song she displayed was the limit of her abilities – his words. But she should be able to understand the people around them if she was going to stay.
Though Vweet’s voice had been kind, even welcoming, like he really thought he was giving her good, helpful advice, it still stuck in her craw. Not only had it been patronizing, but it was demanding of her something that might not even be possible.
Their native tongue was definitely impossible for her to learn to speak, but it could also very likely be impossible for her to understand. It was majorly tonal, it was incredibly complex, and she knew just from listening that it would be hard to catch all oftheir individual notes and whistles and words, even if she had a language imprint. But they were demanding she learn it anyway, because even though speaking Standard would be far easier for them,shewas the outsider.
That wasn’t all either. There were dozens of little moments in their conversation, even outside of deliberately excluding her, that just served to remind her that she wasn’t one of them. And the worst part was how polite Veesway and Vweet were about it the whole time. Just how nice everything appeared on the surface.
They explained their culture to her. They encouraged her to try their food. They told her about all the things they were going to introduce her to and all the things she would be learning as an outworlder mating into their people.
They welcomed her, but still somehow managed to make all of it hard reminders that she wasn’t one of them. That she would never be one of them.
At one point, Vweet even asked if she had ever committed violence against anyone. And when she said no, they pushed. Insisted she think hard. Reminded her that even something small like striking someone in anger one time was an abhorrent act of violence and should be disclosed now. They could forgive her if it was something small. She was raised in a barbaric universe, after all, so she knew no better.
Though, of course, she’d be expected to practice pacifism from here on out.
It was exhausting. The weight of expectation, the constant, low level judgment, forcing herself to grin and bear it for Sway’s sake, made the entire meal unpleasant.
Thankfully, the fact that they ignored her the rest of the time also made it easier on her. They mostly focused on telling Sway about their Song, their mission, stories about the people they’d helped, and how much the Song had grown since its early days. Veesway was particularly proud of how he’d negotiated with the owner of this dwarf planet for the right to use this place as a base of operations and then built the city practically from nothing.
Sway was the one who finally called halt to the meal, stating that he was tired and needed a break. A claim that was met with understanding and praise that Sway had done very well that night. They stopped just short of declaring how proud they were of him.
And that was patronizing in its way too. Though he didn’t say anything, Grace could see the tension settling over Sway the more they talked. They were treating him gently, like he was someone traumatized by their experiences. And maybe that was the correct thing to do for the people that they saved.
But Sway wasn’t one of those people, and he clearly didn’t appreciate it. Something that seemed to fly right over their heads.
Sway was a victim, but he was also a criminal. He had done as much bad onto others as had been done onto him. He had been forced into a horrible life, then made himself equal to it. Therefore, treating him like he was delicate and healing was a mistake. But neither male seemed to realize that.
They left the headquarters with Vweet. He insisted on escorting them back to their inn. And while they walked, he told them stories about how long Veesway had been searching for him, how he’d given him up for dead, how he had no hope that Sway would be whole and intact.
Of course, he called him Eefwan the entire time. Sway was so obviously not listening. Grace was trying to listen, but she was mostly focused on Sway, trying to make sure that he was still okay.
It was a relief when Vweet only brought them to the front of the inn. He wished them a well rest, but before they could go inside, he said-
“Oh, one last thing.” He smiled as they turned back to him. “I received a message that the 108 has left the city.”
