Page 61 of Sway's Peace
So, until he was ready to bring it up, she did the same. Her well-trained, professional façade was back in place as she greeted the others with a smile. She acted extremely interested in how they were going to be leading a cargo shuttle up to the Humility and attaching it to the main stowage doors.
Sway didn’t take a single step from her side as the others explained it to her and started going through the process.
Chapter 15
Sway
Sway had to make a decision, and he didn't have much time in which to do it. They were delivering a shipment of weapons right to the Song of Retrieval.
The Song his father led.
There couldn’t be any doubt. The male looked just like him. Just like the distant, fuzzy memories from his childhood. Memories that were faded from time and the decision to not think about them. He couldn’t live in his past if he wanted to survive the present he’d been in on Rik-Vane. So, he’d shut those memories away. Refused to linger within them. Refused to let them become a painful comfort. But seeing the photo of that confidently smiling male brought it all rushing back.
His father. His mother. Their comfortable nest. The love. The joy.
The agony.
Grace followed him back to the bridge. She took the co-nav seat, silently offering her support, as he tried to quickly work through the riot of emotions running through him. It was hard to explain what he was feeling now in light of this information.
Sway was so certain his parents were dead. He had no real reason to believe that, it’s not like he ever looked for them or heard as much. Whatever happened between the moment of his abduction and waking up in the hands of the Master, he never found out and likely would never know. It had been easier for him to convince himself that they were gone, that there was no rescue coming.
He hadn’t been the only one the Master picked as a possible lab assistant. There had been other younglings there as well. He watched them all die due to neglect, abuse, and, worst of all, the soul sucking cancer that was hope. Greeting each day with the vain, painful hope that that would be the day they were saved, only to go to bed that night with just a little more of themselves chipped away. It turned them into lifeless husks.
Sway couldn’t do that and survive. He’d severed his own hope. His parents were farasie. They were likely dead because of their own pacifistic nature. He accepted that as truth and, without hope to bleed him dry, he could lock away his heart and force himself through each day.
And now, he was faced with the reality that he had been wrong. That his father, at least, had survived their ordeal. And he was days away from potentially seeing him.
He didn't have to. Sway didn't usually leave the ship. The only reason he had to do so recently was because of Grace. He could let Tanin and the others complete the delivery without once stepping foot from the bridge. He could ignore this revelation and just let it pass.
If that’s what he wanted.
Like a coward. Running, like he always did.
The guilt was choking each breath, back in full force, along with all the screams of his past, echoing like screeching nails dragged on glass.
The cargo was loaded up and Sway mechanically went through the steps to start their new flight. They had to be a certain distance away from any planets or satellites in order to swing into subspace, so he began that trip first.
And after setting the path, without a break in his movement, he opened an audio channel to the cargo bay where the captain and others were lingering, inspecting the shipment.
“Captain,” he called out to him through the audio channel.
“What is it?”
“I need to speak with you.”
“Very well. I’ll be up after I finish the inspection.”
Sway, heart pounding in his chest, sat back in his chair. Without thinking, his gaze wandered over to where Grace was sitting. A steady presence at his side. She didn't look at him until she felt his eyes on her. Only then did she glance over and give him a soft smile.
“Do you want me to step out?” She asked softly, her voice tinged with understanding.
“No,” he said immediately. “Stay. Please.” He didn’t want her gone. The soft music that was the whooshing of her breaths was steadying. It grounded his suddenly wild thoughts.
“Of course.” She beamed. But there wasn’t any happiness in the motion. Just support. It hurt somehow, but in a way he didn’t dislike.
The screen in front of him had three little, yellow bouncing dots on it. So long as Grace was here, that was the only sign Alred would give that he was around. He had emerged from his core almost as soon as they left Hir-Fallow. Alred was an undroitt recall, a technological, sapient being that was just as much of a person, legally, as Sway. However, he wasn’t, legally, allowed to be their AI. He was a refugee from Rik-Vane like the rest of them. He only showed himself to the crew. He was therefore hiding himself from Grace and Loyalty, acting as a normal ship AI when they were around.
Those three dots, in his distinctive yellow color, were the only way he could freely communicate while Grace was there. The way they were bouncing was curious, interested. He was trying to figure out what Sway wanted to talk to Tanin about.
