Page 115 of Sway's Peace
What if he didn’t try to pretend to be something he wasn’t?
What if, instead of using his brothers as a shield, he fought beside them?
Better to be a monster against his enemies, than a burden on his family.
If he was a monster, if he had no concern for others, none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have let the lies about Loyalty’s ‘hunting trip’ fool him for so long. He wouldn’t have put himself in a situation where Grace could be taken from him.He wouldn’t be sitting out here in a burrow, wallowing in self-pity.
Because the truth was, Sway alreadywasa monster. It wasn’t an identity he needed to create; it was one he needed to stop denying.
He’d made himself into one to survive. He’d fed that beast on blood and souls to protect himself, then denied it completely when he tried to be something he wasn’t.
And that’s why the memories hounded him. He felt no guilt for the lives he took. He wasn’t haunted by the nightmares of his trauma. He was weighed down by the simple act of denying his true self and pretending that he could be innocent again. The guilt wasn’t of his past, it was of forcing his brothers to act to protect him without doing the same in turn.
Sway was a monster. He’d been forced to become one, but it was a title that he shouldn’t deny in forced shame.
Accept it, Loyalty said. Not because he believed he was a monster, but because the world was determined to label him as one. And if all they wanted to see was a monster, then he would be one that protected those he loved and no one else.
Accept it.
For the first time in years, the distant echoes of screams finally started to fade. Sway felt like he could think clearly. And as the acceptance finally pieced together shards of himself thathehad broken with his own foolish stubbornness, the guilt faded.
Not guilt born from the things he’d done. Nor from being a shame to his father. The guilt that had been eating him all these years was for the way he treated his family. For the way he hungonto them and refused to do what they had already been doing, acting like he was better than them somehow.
Tanin offered him the reprieve from violence. He did so because he thought it would be what Sway wanted. And Sway accepted it, thinking it was what he should want. But that was a lie he’d been telling himself all this time. One that had placed a burden on the males he claimed to want to support. He wasn’t uncomfortable with who he had become, he was uncomfortable with who he had been pretending to be.
And as those feelings faded, as his thoughts cleared, he could finally make out the truth of his emotions.
The only guilt remaining was that for Grace. Because his female was stolen from him, threatened, and he was sitting here, pouting in a hole instead of being what she needed.
A monster.
“We need to go back,” he said, getting to his feet.
For the first time in too long, his body felt light. Yet, somehow, inexplicably stronger. Like he was aware of every tense muscle. Each fiber of which was ready and willing to fire off, to fight. A body crafted into a weapon that he’d been ignoring, pretending it was a harmless toy.
He rose into himself, and it was a comfortable feeling.
“Go back?” Loyalty frowned, watching as he walked to the front of the burrow and looked out into the bright, golden forest. But he made no attempt to stand. “Why?”
“We have to get Grace,” Sway answered immediately. They hadn’t traveled far from the city. It wouldn’t take long to return. If he timed it right, they could arrive before it got dark. Hecould hide in the night, but Loyalty couldn’t. If he wanted to successfully break into the city, he either needed to do it stealthily or as loud as possible. He wasn’t sure which would-
“Butwhy?” Loyalty asked again. Sounding even more confused. “She’s safe where she is. They’re not going to hurt her. We can just grab her when they exile her. What’s the point in going in after her when they’ll just send her straight to us if we wait?”
Sway turned, giving him a pleasant smile. “Because that’s what a monster would do.”
Chapter 30
Grace
Glass shattered, shards flying everywhere. Grace’s heart was beating hard in her chest, each breath heaving in and out with force. She rolled away, in the opposite direction of the glass, and came up on her feet, lifting her shoe up over her head.
The domini guards began to converge again. She screamed, throwing her shoe. It bounced off one of the males’ chest, completely useless.
“Stop!”
Veesway’s commanding voice brought the threatening trio of males to a halt. Veesway let out a long, annoyed breath. “Female, please…”
He wasn’t begging her to cooperate. It sounded more like he was praying for patience. Grace glared at him, blowing out a short breath, moving some of the hair from her face.
