Page 138 of Monsters Wear Crowns
I hadfelther fight back. Felt her struggle against me, try tosquirm out of my grip, and scream my name like a plea–like maybe somewhere inside me was a man who wouldlisten.
But I hadn’t listened.
I’d been gone. Possessed by that fucking monster. That thing I thought I could keep buried. The thing that always lurked beneath my skin, just waiting for the slightest crack.
And this time, it had taken everything. I was named after it because itinflictedthe most pain. I didn’t remember half of it. Just fragments. Her eyes. The way her body went rigid. The sound of her broken whimpers while I drove into her again and again. The awful silence that followed. The sobs that startedafterI walked away.
Christ.
Bile clawed up the back of my throat. I staggered to the corner trash can and threw up everything in me. My stomach. My sins. My fucking soul.
When I finally straightened, I wiped my mouth with a blood-smeared hand and stared blankly at the wall like it might offer some kind of absolution. But all I saw were ghosts. Her face. Her pain. Herbetrayalthat wasn’t a betrayal at all. She could have actually fucked Moreau and still wouldn't deserve what I just fucking did.Iwas the one who truly betrayedher.
I sat there for what felt like hours, covered in sweat, blood, and dust. Crying like a fucking child. My men passed by the door once or twice, but they didn’t come in. They knew. They saw it on my face. I was grieving.
Not a loss of love. Not a man. Not a brother. I was grievingmyself.Because the man I thought I could be for her, the man I swore I’d try to become, had died in that moment. Maybe he was never real to begin with. No one had ever loved me or chosen me despite the dark web of pain that was my soul. But she did.
Finally, when I had nothing left, I forced myself to stand. My knees nearly gave out. I walked back to the bathroom like a condemned man heading to the gallows. Her cries had quieted. But the silence was worse. I rested my hand against the door.
Chapter 26
ADELA
I didn’t know how long I cried. I didn’t stop even when the door opened behind me. The water lapped against my skin but did nothing to soothe the ache spreading through my chest. My arms were wrapped tightly around my knees, my forehead pressed to them, and the quiet, shuddering sobs.
I’d heard him scream earlier–guttural and raw, like it had been torn straight from his soul. Then, the sound of glass shattering. Furniture slamming. Chaos. And then silence. He must have destroyed the office.
Rafe didn’t speak at first, and I hated that even now, my body recognized and responded to him. “I hurt you.” His voice was soft. So soft I almost didn’t hear it.
“Obviously,” I rasped, barely able to squeeze the words through the tightness in my throat. The tears were endless, spilling down my cheeks like a river that refused to dry. “Get out.”
He didn’t move. “Adela…”
That tone.That fucking tone.
I lifted my head, and the second I saw him, the air left my lungs. His face–devastated. His eyes were red and hollow. His hands were smeared in blood. Whether his or someone else’s, I didn’t know.Didn’t care.What stopped me cold was the evidence of tears on his cheeks. He hadcried.
But I was done giving grace to monsters. My rage shotthrough me like wildfire. “I’m not surprised you did what you did to me,” I said, my voice trembling. “You’re a man. And the only thing you think could shatter a woman is shoving your dick in her.”
His jaw clenched. He looked like he’d been punched.
“How fucking predictable of you,” I spat. “You’re all the goddamn same. It’s youronlyway to wound a woman so deeply. But me?” I let out a small, broken laugh. “I could cut you so deep you’dbegme to let you fucking bleed out.”
He shifted, a muscle ticking in his jaw, like he wanted to defend himself but knew he had no defense.
“You hurt me, yes. But you didn’tbreakme.No man can ever break who I am.Do you understand me?”
Still, he didn’t speak. His arms crossed over his chest like they were the only thing holding him together.
“Get the fuck out, you sad excuse of a man.” The venom in my voice should’ve burned us both.
“I–”
“You’ve doneenoughto me tonight!” I screamed, and the sound cracked like thunder in the air. My throat stung from the force of it.
He flinched. He actuallyflinched.And then I saw it, the regret. So raw, so unguarded, it nearly undid me. Like he’d come back to himself and realized what he’d done. Like he’d blacked out and only now was standing in the aftermath.
He took a step back.
