Page 42 of Dusty and Dented
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Andy blinked awake.It was dark and she wasn’t alone.It took a moment for the confusion of trying to remember what was dream and what was real passed.It was Dagger lying beside her, holding her as if she was his favorite teddy bear.She lay still, listening to Dagger’s easy breathing and wishing she could see him.What would he look like while he slept?Would he be just as fierce, as protective, as he was when he was awake or would the relaxation of sleep make him look younger?She hadn’t seen it often, especially not recently, but Travis had always been that way.Sleep made him look like a younger, more innocent version of himself.
And he would never get any older.He would never have a chance to see his own face on a toddler, yelling for daddy as he ran toward him.He’d never get to hold the woman who loved him more than everything.Andy would never get to see the wonder on his face as she let him hold her babies for the first time, as she called him Uncle Travis.
She was unaware of the tears streaming down her face until a thumb swept across her cheek and Dagger spoke softly behind her.
“What’s wrong, Sparky?”He gently turned her in his arms so they lay face to face on the bed.“Talk to me?”His words were a little more than a breath across her skin, even as his arms stayed around her, making her feel safe and cared for.
Cared for?She mentally laughed at her own thoughts.Dagger hadn’t known her long enough to care for her but at least he was better at pretending than Tony had been.Tony.That reminded her.If Tony had arranged for her to be taken, had he possibly been the one responsible for Travis’s death?Had all this been her fault, even that?
“Talk to me, tell me what I can do to help, baby.”Dagger’s tone was pleading.
She looked up toward where his face should be but could only see the faintest outline.
“I was thinking about Travis.All the things that he won’t get to experience, all the things that I’ll miss getting to see him do.Then I wondered if maybe the shooting that killed him was because of Tony.Did he have that done before he sent the guys for me?”She forced herself to stop talking and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly as she tried to regain control of her emotions.
Dagger smoothed a hand up and down her back.She didn’t know if he was thinking or trying to soothe her, but the soft, repetitive touch was helping her to calm down.
“What made you say maybe this Montiglio was responsible for the shooting?”
“Nothing.It was just an idea.My thoughts were scattered.I was wondering why him, why did he have to die, and why did I have to be left behind, alone.”
“You’re not alone anymore.”
“I know, but I’ve felt alone for the last week, I know you’re here now but how long will that last?How long until you decide you’d rather have a little fun with one of the chippies downstairs instead of the chick that needs so much attention, so much hand holding?”
“Whoa, there.Hold on just a minute.”He released his hold on her and moved away for a moment.The light behind him flared to life, making her squint and blink several times while she waited for her eyes to adjust.He rolled back until he was facing her, his arm going back around her so they lay face to face just the way they had been in the dark.“Now, let’s try that again.What makes you think that I’m going to drop you?That I’m going to go back to the mamas when I have you here?”
Andy frowned.Was he trying to confuse her?
His arm around her middle tightened, tugging the center of her body closer to him, and she wasn’t sure they could get much closer.He leaned close and when he spoke, his voice was barely more than a whisper.
“Sparky, if I’d wanted one of the mamas downstairs, I would have gone to them.I wouldn’t have let things go as far as they did last night if I wasn’t sure what I want.”
“What do you want?”Her voice was so soft even she barely heard it but she didn’t know if she could speak any louder.There was too much riding on his response.
“You, Sparky.I want you.And all that entails.All of it.”He pressed his forehead against hers, keeping her from looking away.She met his gaze, not sure what to say.Could she trust him?How many others had he said that to?Where were they now?“Tell me what you’re thinking. You’ve got so many things crossing your face so fast I can’t keep up.Talk to me.”The need in his tone broke her resistance.
“I want to believe you.I do.”She met his gaze, even as she wanted to look away.None of this was easy to admit, even in silence to herself much less out loud and to someone else.
“But?”
“But it’s hard.The last person I thought I could trust betrayed me and I don’t just mean the physical abuse that drove me to leave him.”She didn’t move her head away from where it was pressed against his, but she let her gaze fall.Maintaining eye contact while she confessed being so stupid, so weak, was just too much.
“He cheated on you?”
She didn’t speak, just nodded.
A growl vibrated through his chest, and because they were pressed so close it vibrated through her, sending heat pooling low in her body.
This wasn’t the time, she told herself and ignored her body to give the man holding her like she was precious to him all her attention.
