Page 42 of Blackwarden
The atmosphere in the hall shifted. Shadows gathered along the wall, but I was still trapped staring at the mural, my breaths fast and shallow. I finally pried my eyes away and turned in time to see Keres step from his shadows, his presence instantly calming. I hadn’t expected the exhaustion that clung to his frame, weighing his usually confident shoulders down.
“Are you okay?” I asked, cupping the curve of his jaw in hand.
He closed his eyes as he smiled sweetly, leaning into my palm. “I’ll be fine.” The momentary happiness slipped from his lips, and he stepped closer, taking my hands in his and pressing his forehead to mine. “I couldn’t imbue your portrait.”
“What does that mean?”
He didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t torture him with more questions he couldn’t answer.
“It’s time for dinner,” he said.
I pulled away, eyes welling with tears as I glared up at him, frustrated that his voice was so calm when my heart was breaking into a million pieces. I wondered if my sorrow tasted as bitter to him as it did to me.
“Your last dinner with me.” He smiled weakly.
It never touched his eyes.
––––––––
I had rabbit one more time and I was certain the Gatehouse had outdone itself. I closed my eyes to savor every bite, chewing slowly, allowing the flavors of harvest to melt on my tongue. It tasted richer, more seasoned. The vegetables had been cut into little flowers and forest animals. The wine tasted brighter and more delicious than it ever had.
Keres sat across from me, hardly touching his usual meat and potatoes. There was a deep sadness that clung to his expression, making it hard for me to look at him without fear creeping in and clutching my throat.
“All of the others have been grateful to finally be leaving this place,” Keres finally said, a woeful glint in his eye. “Your emotions are making this difficult.”
A chill slipped down my spine, my eyes welling with tears. Words failed me. Did I need to speak? He knew how I felt. He could feel every scrap of my misery, or glee, or yearning as well as I could.
“It’s time.” He stood and reached a hand out to me. “Come, Ms. Greene.”
I glared at his hand. The thoughts I’d originally had when I came to this place flooded back through me. What if I ran? Would the Gatehouse let me leave? Could I get out of this place and run through the forest and get away? Did I even want to get away? At least if I went to the Unseelie Court there was a chance I’d see Keres again.
His typical stoic mask covered the sorrow I knew we both felt, and I marveled at how well he could lie with his expression when his words were always true. I stood, trembling. He held my hand as he led me through the Gatehouse. It was like when he’d led me to the dining room on the day I arrived. However, his silence was so foreboding this time.
He took me to a room I’d never entered before. When his hand touched the handle, I heard a lock click open. It was pitch-black inside; no braziers came to life when we entered. The only light came from the hall, oozing over the floor and reflecting off what looked like a massive mirror.
I stopped short after entering the room, watching him walk closer to the strange mirror with confidence in every step. He’d done this before—countless times. When he glanced back at me, I was too scared to move or take a single step closer. Instead, I backed up, missing the doorway and bumping into the wall behind me.
I’d seen him move from one place to another using shadows, but it was still startling when he did it now. He stepped into my personal space, and I had to tip my face up to see him as threads of smoke dissipated into the air around us.
“I have to take you, Rosalin.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head and hoping by the grace of the Earth Mother he would spare me, and I could stay.
“Please, Keres.” I didn’t want to beg, but the words poured out of me, every one of them stained with the last year of loneliness and longing I’d endured without Bastion. “Let me stay with you. I promise I’ll figure out how to break this curse.” He shook his head,his eyes downcast. “I won’t ask you any more questions until I do. I won’t bother you if that’s your wish. Just please let me—”
“I can’t.” His voice was sharp, and I flinched back, pressing flat against the wall.
The muscles in his jaw tightened as he glared with anguish in his eyes.
“Please trust me when I say, I wish I could.” He leaned, bracing himself with one hand on the wall, his other cradling my cheek before slipping around my throat.
Leaning down, he pulled me forward by my neck until our lips met. There was anguish in that kiss, a tenderness in the way his fingers wove through my hair. A stolen moment when I knew we were already running late. I was lost in the scent of him, the heat of his body pressed against mine.
When he finally broke away, I was breathless. Some piece of my heart knew this was the last time I’d kiss him. He hadn’t said it, but he’d implied things would be very different on the other side of the portal.
“Please, Keres.”
“Rosalin...” He stepped back, a strength of will I never would have had. “I can’t.”
