Page 50 of Blackwarden
The Blackwarden stared at me with an emotionless expression, but I didn’t know what else to say. I decided it didn’t matter. I might be left with these strange half memories forever, and there would be nothing I could do about it but try to recall.
“You can rest here for now,” he said, after a long moment of watching me look around the room. “Bevgyah may tire herself out before she’s interested in...”
The muscles tightened in his neck, his hands balling into fists.
“Areyouokay?” I asked, resting a hand on his arm.
A strange shock of a light vibrated through me, and I squeezed my eyes shut. So much skin. Pale and beautiful. A gorgeous face in the throes of pleasure. My hands on his chest, his stomach, his...
“I need to go,” his voice was breathy, and he was gone before I opened my eyes.
––––––––
The queen did not grace me with her presence, and I was happy for it. The way she’d spoken with her Blackwarden had been harsh and uncaring. I knew she was the queen, and he was her consort, but she treated him like an object, rather than a person. It felt wrong. It made me want to protect him when I knew there was nothing I could do to protect myself, much less him.
I woke in complete darkness to the sound of laughter outside my little suite the Blackwarden had taken me to. I lay perfectly still trying to hear the words being spoken, but it was useless. When I sat up, a brazier burned to life, and I let out a tiny yelp as I threw a silky blanket over my head. The door cracked open, and a face peeked in before Nessa opened the door completely.
“I thought the Blackwarden brought you here,” she said looking around the room and then at me with wide eyes.
“He did.”
“Where did he go? He wasn’t at the revel.” She reached a hand down to help me up. “We’ve been impatiently waiting for you to sneak him out.”
I shook my head, memories of the night before weren’t something I wanted to revisit, but I could confidently say the queen’s Blackwarden had left and had done so very quickly.
“He’s never taken one of us back to a suite.”
I tried to find the words to explain to her it wasn’t what she thought. That he’d brought me there at the queen’s behest. Instead, I just stared at her, blushing furiously as I tried to work through my jumbled thoughts.
“Come, it’s time for breakfast.”
Nessa pulled me down the hall back toward the harem. It was then that I realized this was my existence—the harem, revels, gossip, golden Fae wine, and half memories.
––––––––
Bevgyah paid the harem a visit the next day. She wasn’t accompanied by her consort; she came with two guards as she had when she’d given me my name. Every maiden, myself included, curtsieduntil the queen motioned for us to stand. She’d asked for the harem to be emptied except for me, and once again found myself well and truly terrified. What could she possibly want to talk with me about in private? Perhaps she tried to get to know all of her newest maidens when they first arrived?
“Tesanna, come and sit with me, my pet.” She patted the futon beside her.
I did as she bade, slipping to my knees and folding my hands as respectfully as I could. I had only a vague recollection of how you were supposed to sit with a queen, and this felt entirely too casual. Shouldn’t she be on some sort of throne with billowing skirts and a judgmental glare? This seemed almost friendly with the way she leaned close.
“My Blackwarden seems to have a problem, and I need your help.”
I stiffened at the mention of her consort. What problem could he possibly have that I could help her with?
“Your emotions seem to be far stronger than any of my other maidens. Do you know why that is?”
How could she know the strength of my emotions? Had I been so obvious? Was it because I’d been uncomfortable at the revel?
“I’m sorry, your Majesty, I don’t know,” I said as calmly as I could, but I worried she could see my hands were trembling. I was hot all over, sweat soaking through my silk slip at the small of my back.
Bevgyah reached forward, long lavender fingers taking hold of my chin and turning my face to the side. Her fingernails bit into my skin as she turned my face around the other direction. I remembered the mark that the tiny Fae female had hidden with cream and magic when I first arrived. A flash of panic rippled through me as I wondered if the queen would see it. It took all of my strength not to step back and pull my hair over my shoulder to hide it.
“You seem perfectly normal, if not a bit plain.” She smoothed her thumb over my chin then trailed her fingers down the column of my neck. “Perhaps he’s mistaken.”
I nodded, trying to suppress the shudder her touch had ripped from my insides. But as much as I feared what she would say or do next, my curiosity was building. Questions boiled in my throat, begging to be asked.
“How can someone feel my emotions?”
