Page 227 of Falling for You
He looks down at me, his green eyes shining. I can see the idea playing in his mind; all he has to do is reach out and grab it.
But he looks away.
‘I’m sorry, Annie,’ he says. ‘I just don’t want to fight any more.’
He moves past me and walks inside, the fire door slamming behind him and making me jump. And suddenly, standing alone in the smoking area, the icy air feels as if it’s freezing me from the inside. Cold dread fills my body and I let the wind whip around me, rattling my bones.
He’s gone, and this time it’s for good.
And if I hadn’t run off in the first place … would he have stayed?
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Nate
‘I’ve got a bone to pick with you.’
My eyes ache as I look up at Stevie, who has marched into the living room with his eyebrows raised, pointing his passport at me.
‘What?’ I ask, my throat dry and scratchy.
‘I saw you,’ Stevie says accusingly. ‘You left halfway through my show! You’ve been in London for six weeks and this is the first time you come and see me, and then you leave halfway through!’
I drop my head into my hands.
I left as soon as I walked away from Annie. I just couldn’t take it any more. The music was too loud, the scent of alcohol too strong, the lights were too bright, the laughter and screams were too … I don’t even know. I just had to leave. I sent Remy a message and jumped in a cab. As soon as I got home, I lay on the sofa for hours, staring at the ceiling. My head was spinning from the mixture of spirits and adrenaline swirling around my body, a million different thoughts erupting.
I never thought I’d see her again. I’d written her off, I’d let her go.
Well, of course I hadn’t actually let her go. Life would be much easier if you could let someone go just like that, someone who broke your heart, when hours before you were planning your life with them, thanking your lucky stars that you’d finally found the person you’d spent your whole life searching for. But I’d accepted the reality check. Life isn’t a movie. Life is hard, and shitty, and sad.
Round and round the thoughts went until I finally fell asleep, waking up a few hours later with a stiff neck from Stevie’s lumpy sofa as he came back. I crawled straight into bed, too tired to brush my teeth or even drink some water. Now, I feel as though something has died in my mouth. Although, I have made it back onto the sofa.
‘I know,’ I say, my voice muffled between my cupped hands. ‘I’m sorry. Everything got a bit dramatic. You were so great, though.’
Stevie gives me an expectant look and then tuts. ‘I’ve got breakfast plans,’ he says. ‘Do you want to come?’
I shake my head. ‘I booked us flights for tomorrow, did you see?’
He nods, wrapping a large scarf around his neck. ‘I’ve already started packing.’
I hold my hand up to him as a goodbye and he slams the door. It sends a shudder through my weak, pathetic body.
Why did I do shots? I flop back down onto the sofa and shut my eyes.
I didn’t mean to get angry last night. It’s not who I am, and I never would have thought I could be so angry withAnnie. The brightest person I’ve ever met. But as soon as I saw her, it all poured out of me. I couldn’t see her and not be filled with a boiling rage. How could you leave so easily? Did you not feel the same way as I did? How could you do that to me?
But as soon as I said it I knew there was no point. I’d learnt my lesson. We weren’t meant to be. I just needed to go back home.
I must have fallen asleep, because next thing I know I’m being pulled out of a dream where I’m about to do a penalty shoot-out for Chelsea, when my phone vibrates next to me. I lurch awake, a damp patch of drool pooled into the sofa. I scrabble around for my phone and see Mom is video-calling me.
God, how long was I asleep for?
I force myself to sit up and take the call, expecting to see her warm, smiley face that might, for a moment, make my hangover and inescapable existential dread disappear. But she looks furious.
‘Mom?’ I say, alarmed by her expression. ‘Are you okay?’
‘No!’ Mom says at once, making me jump with her abrupt tone. ‘What’s this about you coming home?’
