Page 209 of Falling for You
I look around at the clothes. There are soft lilac dresses, enormous headpieces for gory creatures with bulbous yellow eyes and fangs, electric-blue gowns and multicoloured woven jumpers.
‘It’s amazing,’ I say, staring. Little sequins and gems glisten as they catch the moonlight bouncing off the settled snow and landing through the window. ‘You’re amazing.’
She snorts.
‘Youare!’ I press on. ‘Why don’t you do this full-time? You should be doing this with your whole life, you’re so talented.’
She laughs, but I see her cheeks have flushed pink again. ‘Because I can’t.’
‘Yes, but why?’
‘Because it wouldn’t work.’
‘But what if it did?’
‘Jesus!’ She turns to face me, her eyebrows raised but a full smile spread across her cheeks. ‘You watch too many films.’
I shrug, taking a step towards her. ‘Maybe.’
She looks up at me, my heart lifting as her big brown eyes meet mine. Her chin tilts and I put my hand on her cheek; our lips are inches away and so I—
‘ANNIE! Naaa-aaate! Would you like a cup of tea?’
We jump apart and Annie quickly ruffles her hair, moving towards the door.
‘Come on,’ she says.
‘Do you believe in the universe?’
It’s an hour or so later and we’re both lying on her bed, facing the ceiling. Annie’s shoulder is next to mine, and we’ve been staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck onto the ceiling with Blu Tack. Annie said they’d been up there since she was a baby, and her mom and dad couldn’t bring themselves to take them down.
She gives me a sceptical look. ‘Are you about to tell me that you’re a flat earther?’
‘Just answer the question.’ I smile back, shifting my right arm so it’s under my head.
‘Well, what do you mean?’ she asks.
The room is dark apart from the yellowy-green stars above us and the pale light of the moon beaming through the paned window.
‘Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?’ I say, after taking a moment to put my thoughts in order. ‘Like, do you believe that everything that happens is meant to happen?’
She pauses. ‘Sometimes, I guess.’
‘I do.’
‘Yeah?’ She glances up at me.
‘I think I kind of have to at this point.’
‘What do you mean?’
I pause, the flicker of anxiety pinching at my chest as Mom’s face pops into my mind. I’m about to push it back down and give Annie some generic reason, but I stop myself. I feel safe with her. ‘You know I told you my mom isn’t well?’ I say, keeping my eyes fixed on the stars. ‘Well, she’s the best person I know, and she started getting sick a few years ago. Sometimes, believing the universe has a big plan for us all is the only thing that keeps me sane. Although fuck knows why Mom having dementia needs to be part of any plan. There is no bright side to that, it’s only shit. She doesn’t deserve it.’ I sigh, and then I feel Annie’s hand fold into mine.
‘I’m really sorry, Nate.’
I run my fingers through my hair, feeling a weight lift off my chest. I haven’t ever said that out loud to anyone.
‘It’s why I sent you such a weird message last week …’ I admit. ‘We’d had a bit of a scare. She’s fine, but I … I don’t know.’
