Page 200 of Falling for You
My stomach lurches. ‘Have you told the landlord?’
She shakes her head earnestly. ‘No, but Mike has found a place for us to live, so I do need to tell them soon.’
I turn to Tanya. ‘When do they want you in Paris?’
‘As soon as possible,’ she manages.
And then it hits me. I’m not just being told that my best friends are about to do something amazing and exciting, something that I have no version of; they’re also telling me that the three of us are about to split up and, for the first time in ten years, we’re not going to live together. We’re not going to live in our flat. We’re all going to move out.I’m going to have to move out.
Shit. Where am I going to live?
‘Okay,’ I say, turning back to my suitcase to try and hidethe fact that my eyes are suddenly brimming with tears. ‘Well, you can tell him tonight if you like.’
‘Annie …’ Penny says. ‘Don’t be like that.’
‘I’m not being like anything!’ I say, trying to sound bright. ‘I’ve got to get a train back home before the snow gets really bad, and if you both need to move out quickly then we might as well get the ball rolling.’
‘Are you okay?’ Tanya says, the desperation in her voice so heartfelt that it almost makes me melt into a puddle on the floor. But instead, I turn to them, a horrible, painful smile forced on my face.
‘I’m fine!’ I say. ‘No, I’m great. I’m really, really happy for you both.’
I loll my head against the train window and feel my skull rattle against the glass. I left as quickly as I could, stuffing my suitcase and forcing it shut, then running out of the flat, leaving behind a string of excuses about how I had to make this train, it was the last one that was running for the day, and if I missed it then I’d miss Dad’s birthday.
All of it was true, but that wasn’t what I was really saying. Really, it was more like: I’ve got to go, I can’t stand to be in the flat for a minute longer otherwise I’ll burst into tears and ruin your lovely, special moment with my selfish fear about what the hell I’m going to do now and you’ll never believe me when I say I’m really happy for you both, even though I really am. Really.
The worst part is, I didn’t see this coming. I knew that Penny would move in with Mike at some point, but I tuckedthe thought away and assumed it would happen in like … ten years. But not ten years, because by then we’d all be in our forties, but like, when we’re thirty-something … even though we’re all thirty-something now.
And as for Tanya, I knew she was fantastic at her job. She always has been. I knew her PR firm has offices all over the world and she’s always wanted to travel more. But I never considered that might result in her getting snapped up by a different branch of the firm and leaving the country. But then, why not? It seems so obvious now. All of it seems so bloody obvious, and yet Ineverconsidered any of it. I was too busy in my little bubble, pratting about and making costumes. What is the matter with me?
The train starts to slow down, approaching my stop, and I get to my feet, hauling my suitcase off the top rack. The snowflakes have steadily fallen thicker as the evening has gone on, and the further the train has pulled into the countryside, the more it feels like we’re being drawn inside an enormous feather pillow.
I heave my suitcase down onto the platform with a thud, wincing as the icy air hits my face and the snowflakes cling to my eyelashes. It’s a ten-minute walk home from the station, and as I decided to get an earlier train, I told Dad not to worry about picking me up. My suitcase is on wheels, and anyway, I need the time to collect myself before seeing Mum and Dad. If I saw Dad right now, I’m worried I’d burst straight into tears.
I stop at the ticket barrier and start fumbling for my ticket. My hands grasp at my empty, gaping pockets and I curse under my breath.
Where is my ticket?
I sidestep out of the way of the queue of people, looking around as I debate whether to beg the station staff to let me through or jump the ticket barrier and make a break for it, when my heart stops.
It’s him. Nate. Stood on the platform.
He … What is he doing here?
I peer at him. The snow is falling thickly now and it’s hard to see … but as I walk closer towards him, my heart starts to race. Oh my God, it’s him. It’s definitely him. The guy who ran out on me, and then well and truly fobbed me off. Should I say something? Or just go? No, Annie, hold your head up high and leave. He is not worth your time. He is—
‘What the fuck are you doing here?’
Or, you know, just shout at him.
Nate’s head jolts up and he looks so shocked to see me that I almost laugh. ‘Annie?’ he cries. ‘What are you doing here? Hi!’
‘Remember me?’ I say. ‘I’m the girl you keep trying to lose?’
He blinks at me. ‘Trying to lose?’
‘Yeah.’ I pull my hat closer to my ears. ‘First you run out on a conversation with me without saying goodbye, and then you fob me off after we have an actual date.’
‘Fob you off?’ he repeats. ‘I didn’t do that, did I?’
