Page 149 of Falling for You
And then it sneaks back up on you again. Pulls a bit more of the person away. That lovely, familiar conversation you had the day before is only a memory for one of you.
I know we all think it, but I truly did think that my mom was invincible. She worked two jobs as we were growing up. She was on the school PTA and baked for every cake sale and fundraising event. She worked on the reception in a hospital, and cut and coloured people’s hair in the evenings. Every night we’d have someone different round at our house, sitting in our kitchen with a cape wrapped round their neck. They’d chat away as Mom snipped and painted like theywere best friends, no matter how well she really knew them. She had that knack with people. She made you feel like she’d known you forever. She made everyone feel safe in her company. She’d look after you.
It crept up on us all. The thing is, you don’t think you have to look out for it. Why would you? Everyone forgets things. I’ve misplaced my keys. I’ve forgotten to take the bins out. Did I turn the oven off? I think I have those thoughts every day. Doesn’t everyone? How was I supposed to know that they were warning signs? That something cruel and relentless had gotten its teeth into Mom and was slowly dragging her away?
She was diagnosed five years ago. By this point, Stevie had been in London for five years. I didn’t expect him to move back to Manhattan, but I did expect him to visit more, which he didn’t. We’ve never properly spoken about it.
She was having a good day when I got offered the position in the London office and was adamant that I must take it. I hadn’t told her the real reason I was going. She didn’t know that Aunt Tell had been ignoring me for weeks, and I didn’t want to worry her, so I made it sound like this big, exciting idea that I’d go to London to stay with Stevie and explore the city.
She worried about Stevie, and I know she thought I’d go and look after him like the good big brother I was. She could never understand why I was hanging around so much anyway, and why I would even consider turning down the chance to go on a great adventure. You can’t really tell someone that the reason you don’t want to go is because of them.Because you’re scared of what will happen if you do leave. That if you turn your back for a second, they might really slip through the cracks and you won’t be there to catch them.
Dad called this evening to say that she’d fallen down the stairs. Apparently, she’d been confused about where they started, and her legs didn’t quite pick themselves up in the right way. She hit her head and every part of her body as she knocked each step on the way down. She was in hospital now. Dad was with her.
He wasn’t telling me because he expected me to come home, but he didn’t try and stop me either. Dad wanted me to be in London as much as Mom did, but I saw the fear in his eyes when I told him I’d decided to go. Like he’d have to deal with it all alone. Mom was always the carer of the family; Dad was the fixer. But he can’t fix this, none of us can.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Annie
‘You didn’t even get his name?’
I take the steaming mug off Tanya as she slips into bed beside me. Penny is folded by our feet like a faithful cat, the only one to turn down a morning cup of coffee, which I’m quite glad about. Her face needs to lose its green hue before she eats or drinks anything in my bedroom.
‘He literally answered his phone and ran out of the place. He didn’t even look back at me.’
‘Pig,’ mutters Penny.
‘All he left was this,’ I say, picking up the ring on my bedside table.
It took me a moment to realise he’d left it, otherwise I would have tried harder to follow him. It’s one thing to chase after a guy because you want his number (desperate, cringe, no thank you) but it’s another to do it to return their prized possession and thenhappento get their number at the same time (heroic, coincidental, yes please). But he was long gone before I noticed it glistening on the bench next to me.
‘That’s a woman’s ring,’ Tanya says, picking it up to examine it.
‘Pig,’ Penny says again. ‘I bet it’s his wife’s.’
‘Maybe that’s who called him,’ Tanya says. ‘Although, why would you wear your wife’s ring?’
‘Maybe she’s dead,’ Penny says, barely audible as her face is pressed against a cushion.
‘So, his wife was ringing him from beyond the grave?’ Tanya asks sceptically.
‘It was Halloween,’ Penny says. ‘And that would explain why he ran out so quickly.’
‘He said it belonged to his mum,’ I say, taking the ring off Tanya and putting it back beside my bed.
‘Maybe she’s dead.’
‘Stop thinking everyone is dead!’
‘I feel like I might be dead.’
Tanya laughs. ‘Well, I did try and stop you from ordering sambuca.’
‘You didn’t try hard enough,’ Penny groans, rolling onto her back. ‘You should have locked me in a toilet or told the barman that I was underage.’
She spots my raised eyebrows and thwacks me with her arm. ‘I was wearing a lot of make-up, I could have got away with being seventeen.’
‘That’s nearly half your age.’
