Page 235 of Falling for You
‘Well, what is it, then?’
I roll my eyes, debating whether to do what I always do, stuff this part down further inside me and pretend it doesn’t exist. But I’m so tired of fighting with myself, I don’t know if I have the energy.
‘Ever since I got here, I feel like I’m being punished,’ I say eventually. Stevie turns to face me, but he doesn’t sayanything. ‘Back home was really rough, looking after Mom,’ I continue. ‘I’d just moved out when she started to be … well, when she started acting different. I tried to go with the flow, but then it got worse, Stevie. You know you said she didn’t recognise you? She used to do that to me, only once or twice, but enough to make you feel like the worst person in the world. And the thing is, she always had an excuse for it after. She’d say that she hadn’t slept well, or it was the lighting. A lot of it was easy to explain away. Like, we all lose our keys or forget our pin numbers. But when it started getting really bad, well, that’s when I gave up more of my time to be with her and to help Dad. I only came here because Mom overheard me telling Dad about it, when I had the idea that Aunt Tell might make things better for her. Mom was desperate for me to go, and she was so excited that I let myself get wrapped up in her idea of it all. How I’d move here, live with you, find this amazing, exciting life, fall in love … just do all the things everyone around me seemed to be doing while I was stuck at my parents’ house, following Mom around, ready to catch her and piece her back together. I felt so bad about coming here, man. And then when I arrived and everything started being shit, it just felt like one big punishment for being selfish in the first place. Then I met Annie and everything was great, like, it was so amazing, and I finally thought thatthisis what I’d come to London for. But that fucked up too. You know, she asked if I’d fight for us on Saturday, and I just left. It felt like the final nail in the coffin. I needed to grow up and come home, take care of Mom, do what I needed to do.’
‘I think Dad does a pretty good job of taking care of Mom,’ Stevie says in a small voice.
‘Well, what about Dad, then?’ I cry, finding it hard not to explode. ‘Who is taking care of him?’
‘Nate …’ Stevie says. ‘You know it’s not your job to take care of everyone, right? I mean, you do a good job of it. But you need to take care of yourself, too.’
I shake my head, running my hand roughly through my hair. We both look forward, the clock flicking over to seven thirty.
‘Annie’s so talented,’ Stevie says eventually. ‘You know she made my costume for Saturday? I only asked her to mend it, but she transformed it.’
‘Yeah,’ I sigh, ‘she’s really talented. I think she’s going to do it as a business, so you should use her again.’
Stevie pulls out his phone. ‘Nah. She said my costume was the last she was making. My friend asked if she’d do a commission for him and she said no.’
‘What?’ My eyes snap up from my coffee. ‘She’s giving it up? She can’t do that!’
Stevie looks at me. ‘And why’s that?’
‘Because she’s incredible!’ I cry, throwing my arms in the air. ‘I mean … she just can’t do that.’
To my annoyance, I notice Stevie start to laugh.
‘What?’ I snap hotly. He holds his hands up defensively.
‘It’s just all so mad to me!’ he says. ‘I mean, fuck, you’re a better person than I am, but allthe drama. You think you’re cursed because you’ve had a few bad weeks in London?’
‘Fuck off.’
‘And you do know that you’re proper into Annie, don’t you? And she asked you to stay and fight for her but you’re here, sat with me, waiting to go back home so you can, what? Live in our parents’ spare bedroom for the rest of your life?’ I shoot him daggers but he’s still grinning at me. ‘You’re the one always harping on about the universe and luck and all that bullshit. Are you really going to leave it like this?’
‘Well, what do you expect me to do?’ I demand.
‘I don’t know.’ Stevie shrugs nonchalantly. ‘Tell her how you feel. Call her, at least.’
‘She’s blocked my number.’
‘Ooohh … romance.’ I glare at him and he laughs again. ‘Go find her, then!’ he says, exasperated. ‘Who cares if she tells you to go to hell or it all fucks up? You can’t leave without properly telling her how you feel. Otherwise, what is the point in all of this?’
I open and close my mouth, emotions flying around my body like wild birds.
‘I have her number.’ He holds up his phone. I go to grab it but he snatches it away. ‘But I think you should go and find her instead. We both know you want to. It’s far more romantic.’
‘I can’t … how would I even find her?’
Stevie sighs. ‘Well … she’s going to her parents tonight.’
I gape at him. ‘How do you know that?’
‘She told me,’ he shrugs. ‘I asked her about payment and she said she’d message me when she was back from visiting her parents.’
I stand up clumsily. ‘Do you … do you really think I should?’
Stevie nods, smirking at me. ‘Go and tell her how you feel? Yes. Go on.’ He waves a hand at me. ‘Go live out your best Hugh Grant fantasy. I know you’ve been desperate to since the moment you got to England.’
