Page 221 of Falling for You
‘What?’ Tanya says, leaning forward. ‘What is it? Are you okay?’
Why is it that you can be doing quite well at holding in all your horrible emotions, then as soon as someone nice asks if you’re okay you suddenly start sobbing like a newborn baby? Does this happen to everyone? Or is it just the emotionallyunstable? I’m asking for a friend. Or, well, I’m not. Because that’s what’s happening to me. Right now.
‘Annie!’ Tanya cries, pulling me into a hug as Penny leaps up and returns with a box of tissues. ‘What is it?’
I take a tissue gratefully and dab my eyes.
‘Take a deep breath,’ Penny says sternly. I copy her as she breathes in and out, letting the breath shoot out of my mouth in one short, sharp blow.
‘What’s going on?’ Penny says after a moment. ‘What’s making you so upset?’
‘Don’t you want the job?’ Tanya asks. Her question brings the snakes back, all angry and fast, wrapping themselves around my body.
‘Yeah …’ I say. ‘It’s a great opportunity. And I love my job.’ I take a deep breath. ‘It’ll mean that I get to live by myself in a nice flat, and I’ll maybe be able to afford to buy somewhere someday. I’ll set myself up.’
Tanya and Penny look at each other.
‘Yeah …’ Penny says gently. ‘That’s true. But what else?’
I open and close my mouth, unable to get the words that are swimming in my mind in the right order. Penny catches me glance towards my sewing machine and sighs.
‘You’re worried you won’t be able to carry on with your business,’ she says.
I nod, my eyes welling up again. ‘I guess …’ I say, my voice thick as I push the tissue to my eyes. ‘I guess I always thought that one day I might do all of this as my proper job, not just as a hobby, and taking on this CEO job just feels like I’m walking away from that.’
‘You could still do it, though,’ Tanya says. ‘You’ve always done this alongside working full-time, and absolutely smashed it.’
I shake my head. ‘I see how hard Pam works. If I take this on, I won’t have any time to do it. I won’t be able to turn around commissions like this; I’ll have to give it up and like, just make the odd costume here and there.’
I make the mistake of looking at Tanya. Her eyes are wide with worry and are shining back at me.
‘Why are you crying?’ I laugh, poking her with my foot.
She laughs and shakes her head. ‘I just want you to be happy, Annie.’
I exhale slowly. ‘I need to take this job,’ I say. ‘It’s the right thing to do. It’s the sensible thing to do. It’s just hard, isn’t it? The idea of giving up your dreams.’
‘You can always come back to it,’ Penny says gently. ‘It doesn’t have to be forever.’
I shrug and we all sink into silence. I can almost feel Tanya scrabbling around, trying to find a way to fix everything, and Penny, trying to think of a way to make me feel better.
‘Shall I make us a tea?’ Tanya says, giving my hand a squeeze.
I nod. ‘I need to finish making this, though.’
Penny shakes her head. ‘Youcome before work, Annie. And right now, you need a cup of tea.’
Tanya gets to her feet. ‘And there’s a new series ofCome Dine with Me.’
‘Come on.’ Penny stands up, holding her hand out. ‘Work and big life decisions can wait. Dinner can’t.’
I let her pull me to my feet and we both walk into the living room. Tanya brings us tea and Penny serves us her homemade spaghetti bolognese as we curl up on the sofa, which is too small for the three of us but we make it work. We sit under a blanket and watchCome Dine with Me. As I sit there, all I want to do is reach out and fold this moment into a bottle so I can keep it forever.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Nate
I smile at Remy as he places two pint glasses down in front of us. I’ve gone back to Hopping Hare. Its light, biscuity taste bounces around on my tongue and warms the inside of my cheeks. I’ve tried the lagers, I’ve tried the Guinness, I’ve tried all the ales (or, at least, I’ve tried all the ales they have to offer at the Old Queen’s Head), and this is the best one.
