Page 214 of Falling for You
‘What can we do to make you feel better?’ Penny says, leaning forward and touching my leg.
I shrug, rubbing my eyes. Tanya and Penny look at each other.
‘Okay,’ Tanya says. ‘That’s okay. We can sort this. I’ll run a bath.’
‘And I’ll make us a great dinner,’ Penny nods.
‘We can watchI’m a Celebritytonight,’ Tanya adds. ‘And I think we have more chocolate.’
‘And more wine.’
‘Please don’t,’ I smile weakly. ‘You girls don’t have to.’
Tanya gives me a warning look. ‘It’s what girlfriends are for.’
‘Oh!’ Penny adds, turning on her heel as she’s about to leave the room. ‘I think I have face packs, and I bought a new candle this weekend.’
I look at her through misted eyes. ‘You girls really are the best.’
And then I start crying all over again.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Nate
The thing is, I should know better. I know that life isn’t this bullshit you see in films. I mean, fuck. I’ve lived it for the past five years! From the moment Mom let the bath water run over the third Sunday in a row, the moment she burnt chicken to a charcoaled shell one too many times, the moment I caught her looking at me with genuine fear in her eyes. Like she doesn’t quite know who I am, or what’s going on. I know how cruel and fucking horrible life can be. And yet, I still let myself fall for the idea that maybe my life could be brilliant. And it was all because ofherand one weekend we had together.
I angrily fire off another email, my fingers fizzing. I’ve been in the office since eight this morning, glued to my laptop and avoiding conversation wherever I can.
I got out of the shower and she’d gone, completely disappeared. She’d gone from holding my hand, kissing me in the streets and laughing uncontrollably to just … vanishing. Without a trace. I was in the shower for less than five minutes for fuck’s sake, what the hell could have happened? All I got was this message:
We’re not right for each other.
It was like the final bit of light I had in my life had been snatched away from me. I tried to chase after her, but she was nowhere to be seen. I thought I might hear from her later on in the day, I even tried to call her myself, but all I got was the monotone drone of an unrecognised number. She’d blocked my number. I tried to find her on social media, but she’d blocked me there too. It was like she was a ghost. She’d stripped herself from my life completely; it’s like she was never there before.
Except, she was.
I turn my phone over as it starts vibrating and I see Dad’s name flash up. I pick it up and walk to the other side of the office, where the desks are empty.
‘Hi, Dad,’ I say. ‘How are you? How’s Mom?’
Since her terrifying message landed in my phone a week ago, Mom has behaved pretty much as normal. We’ve spoken almost every day, we’ve FaceTimed and she gushed over the photos of Annie’s house that I sent her and all the scenic pictures of the Cotswolds. It’s like nothing has ever happened. In her mind, anyway. For me, all it did was reawaken the hot fear that simmers under my skin like bubbling lava.
‘Oh, she’s fine. We’re all fine,’ Dad says, in the way he always does where I can’t quite work out whether he’s lying or not. Is she really fine? Or is she fine now, but earlier this morning poured boiling coffee over her hand because she hadn’t realised that she’d forgotten to put a mug there?
‘Good,’ I say, running my fingers through my hair. ‘Listen. I think I’m going to come home.’
‘Home?’ Dad repeats. ‘When?’
‘As soon as I can,’ I reply, turning back to face the rest of the office. Brian and Helen are milling around, holding their cups of tea and chatting to the rest of the team. They won’t miss me. They’ll barely notice I’ve gone.
‘Really?’ Dad says. ‘Are you sure, Nate? Is everything okay?’
I press my lips together. ‘Yup. Fine. I just want to come back home.’
‘Okay,’ Dad says after a pause. ‘So long as you’re all right.’
‘Yup,’ I say again. ‘I’m fine.’
