I give a small nod.
‘It’s just not meant to be, is it? The universe doesn’t want us together.’ She gives a small laugh. ‘Just go, Nate. I don’t know what you’re doing here.’
I close my mouth, a cold stone dropping through my body as I suddenly start to question what I’m doing here too.
‘Sure,’ I say eventually. ‘I just … I just don’t think you should quit your business. You’re the most talented person I’ve ever met. Really, you’re great.’
I turn on the spot and begin to walk away, when her voice calls after me.
‘I really was falling for you, you know.’
Her voice is scratchy and desperate, like it’s forced itself out of her mouth of its own accord.
‘What?’ I look back to face her. Exasperation is spreading across her face.
‘You asked me if I felt the same as you did,’ she says. ‘I do. And I know you’re going back to New York, which probably is a good thing as it was all too perfect anyway, but just so you know, I really, really like you. More than I think I’ve ever liked anyone, which is mad since I didn’t even know you a few weeks ago, and fuck! Every sign from the sodding universe seems to be destined to keep us apart or together or fucking apart again, but this is just how I feel and I’m sorry but I—’
But her words are lost, because by this point I’ve walked up to her. I’ve placed my hands firmly on her face and I’ve kissed her. I’ve kissed her with everything in my body, and she’s kissing me back, our arms wrapped around each other like we’re never going to let each other go.
And that’s a promise I make to myself right there.
Annie: I will never let you go.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
SIX MONTHS LATER
Annie
I look around my bright, airy apartment in West Norwood. Second floor, new-build looking out over a stream. White, neutral walls (I’ll be changingthatpronto) and glistening, slick kitchen cupboards and drawers.
‘What do you think?’ I smile.
‘I hate it.’
I roll my eyes, laughing, as Penny stomps out of the bedroom.
‘Where the hell am I supposed to sleep?’ she demands. ‘And Tanya? We can’t all fit in here!’
‘Well, that’s because neither of you are living here …’ I say, plucking three mugs from the top cupboard.
‘How dare you!’ Penny huffs.
‘I love it!’ Tanya squeals, throwing herself onto the sofa. ‘Honestly, Annie, it’s so gorgeous. I can’t believe you live in a place like this. Why did you live in our shitty little flat for so long when you could be living here?’
‘Well,’ I shrug, ‘I didn’t know I could be living here. And obviously,’ I add quickly, catching Penny’s outraged expression, ‘I loved living with both of you so I never thought about moving out.’
Penny peers at me for a moment before nodding in acceptance and pulling the milk out of the fridge.
So, when did we last catch up?
Oh yes … Nate.
I thought I was hallucinating when he came barrelling down the train platform, banging on every window and screaming my name. I thought I was so upset at us splitting up that I had started picturing him everywhere like an absolute madwoman. But I wasn’t, he was actually there.
And guess what? He went back to New York with Stevie. We kissed for what felt like hours, I unblocked his number and he promised he’d call me once he landed. We spoke almost the entire week. I met his parents on FaceTime, I had endless conversations with Stevie about costumes and Nate and I just … Well, we just chatted about everything. While he was gone, I told my parents everything, including about how I’d made the outfit for Stevie and he’d since given my number out to several of his drag friends and I was being bombarded with requests to make their outfits too. Dad tried to be very supportive about me taking the corporate job and giving up my business making costumes … Mum, not so much. She was absolutely outraged. She could not understand why I was walking away from it all, just as it was starting to take off. When I said about not making enough money to survive in London, she waved me off and said thatI’d find my way. Which felt absolutely terrifying at the time. But here we are.
Pam was actually quite relieved that I turned down the job. She said that after I’d accepted, she went home to Rodney and they talked about my ‘horrible, grey, anti-Annie outfit’ and they both knew it wasn’t right. Apparently, Rodney already knew someone who was happy to step into Pam’s shoes.