Page 2 of Forever & Always You
You’re nothing.
I’ve heard those words before. The only difference being they came frommymouth that time, and I have waited far too many years for this exact moment—for the karma of having my own words thrown back at me. It’s what I deserve.
I lower my shoulders in quiet defeat and simply respond, “Thank you.”
As the man screws his face up in confusion, I turn my back on him and walk away, straight out of the door. Even after midnight, the air is still warm and humid outside, so I hop into my car parked in the alley out back and crank up the AC. At this hour, the streets are quiet around the rough edges of Durham,North Carolina. While still enrolled at Duke University, I lived in the cutest dorm on campus, surrounded by gorgeous forestry and with downtown just a stone’s throw away. Now my current apartment complex has questionable characters as neighbors and a couple of stray cats that someone keeps leaving cans of tuna out for in this July heat. As I drive in silence, my mind spins with a thousand thoughts, like what the hell I’m supposed to do now and how much I’ll miss the free tequila slammers, but there is one thought that takes priority over the others—a memory that has tortured me for years, stored deep in the crevices of my brain with a tendency to rear its ugly head more often than I can handle.
*
Austin Pierce collapses into the passenger seat of my car with a groan, and I quit lining my lips with a second coat of gloss in the rearview mirror and fire him a sideways glance.
“What’s up, grumpy?”
“Coach is killing me this week,” he says, slowly stretching out his legs in front of him. “My quads are destroyed after those one-hundred-meter intervals he had us running yesterday, and he’ll probably put me through hell again later.”
I roll my eyes at him and say, “That’s the price you pay for a full-ride college scholarship. Stretch off those legs and you’ll be good to go again.” My hair dances in the breeze as I accelerate out of our street, because now that it’s April and the weather is warming up, I enjoy having the roof down on the drive to school.
“I can’t wait to get the hell out of here,” Austin mumbles. “Crunching both numbers and miles at Alabama State, baby. It’s going to be amazing.”
I sense his gaze on me as I drive, and after a moment’spause, his voice softens. “The only thing that will be missing is you.”
“But we’ll keep in touch,” I remind him, “and I’m sure we’ll bump into each other when we both come home for the holidays. I’ll tell you all about the Duke frat parties I attend, and you can tell me how spongy the track at Alabama is.”
“You make me sound so lame.”
“Youarelame, Austin,” I tease, pouting my lips at him.
“You may suck half the time—most of the time, actually—but I really will miss you,” he says, and my playful expression instantly falters into a somber, guilty frown.
I’m a terrible, terrible friend to Austin and I absolutely don’t deserve to be missed when we go our separate ways after graduation. I’d love for us to stay in touch, but deep down, something tells me he’ll head off to Alabama State, meet nice, genuine friends, and then never associate with me again. And it’d all be my own doing.
“I’ll miss you, too,” I manage to force out.
As we near our high school campus, I contemplate leaving the car roof down for the first time ever, but the second we approach the parking lot, I just can’t do it. I need the privacy when dropping Austin off, and before I even realize it, I’ve already pressed the button and the roof seals shut above us.
“Here ya go,” I say as I pull up in the usual discreet spot before we get too deep into the parking lot or anywhere near the school’s entrance. My eyes wildly scan the handful of our peers walking by, praying as always that none of them are my closest friends.
Austin knows the drill—I pretend to drop him off here as a favor to him so as not to put him through my impatience when it comes to finding a parking spot, and not because I can’t bear the thought of anyone spotting him get out of my car—yet he doesn’t immediately grab his bag and jump out like he usuallydoes. He lingers, which scares the absolute crap out of me.
“What is it?” I prompt, my nerves spiking as the risk of being seen with him heightens.
“Um,” he mumbles, toying with his hands in his lap and chewing his lower lip. “I know this is crazy, and I know you’ll say no, but we’ll be graduating soon and I’ll kick myself forever if I don’t at least ask. But with prom coming up .?.?.”
“Austin .?.?.” I say warily, nearly threatening.
Please don’t do it, Austin. Don’t you dare ask me to prom.
“I was just wondering if maybe you’d like to go?” he asks nervously, the words so very nearly caught in his throat, and he forces his blue eyes to latch on to mine. “With me, obviously. Would you like to go to prom with me, Gabby?”
I blink at him in shock, because what the hell is he thinking? I can’t even talk to him in the school hallways. What makes him think for even a second that I could ever be his date to senior freakin’ prom? Besides, Mark Lowitz already asked me at the weekend, and I should just tell Austin that. It’s a genuine reason, and Austin could go on blissfully unaware that I’d have said no to him regardless, but those hopeful blue eyes .?.?.
God, he always looks at me so sweetly, with such kindness. He has been such an amazing friend to me when I’ve never done a single thing to earn it, and for the first time in my life, I just can’t hurt him. Not this time.
“Okay,” I say in a quiet voice, and Austin is almost knocked for six.
“Seriously? The world wouldn’t end if we went together?” he splutters as his face lights up in delight, and I feel my car shrink around us, sucking all of the oxygen out of the air.
“C’mon, get out, Austin,” I encourage with a weak, feeble laugh as I gesture to the door.
