Page 54 of The Wrong Side of Kai
He sighs at my interruption and rubs his temples, trying to think of the right words to say. “Please don’t just cut me off completely because of some stupid shit I said when I was nervous. YouknowI didn’t mean it the way I said it. C’mon, Nessie,” he pleads, reaching for my hand. His knuckles are swollen. His gray-blue eyes pool with desperation. “Would I really have spent this entire week with you if I seriously thought those things?”
“You’ve only been hanging out with me because we shared the same goal,” I argue, pulling my hand back from his. I’m so angry with myself. How did I fool myself into thinking Kai would ever be interested in a girl like me?
Now Kai is getting angry with me too. The muscle in his cheek twitches as he clenches his jaw tight. “Would I really have wasted every single night this week hanging out with a girl I didn’t like being around? Would I really have spent all week thinking about you when we weren’t together? Would I really have spent all day looking forward to the moment I saw you next?”
“And yet you’re too embarrassed to be with me,” I state. The words carry a sting that causes my heart to seize up, that feeling of suffocation returning again. I try to focus on my breathing as I shake my head. “But it doesn’t matter anyway, because you’re still in love with Sierra.”
“Oh my God!” Kai exclaims, his hands flying to his hair in exasperation, pulling at it as he closes his eyes. He deeply inhales. “How can I possibly be in love with Sierra when I think I might be falling in love withyou?”
I stare at him, wondering if I’ve imagined those words coming from his mouth, but suddenly Kai is reaching out for me. He clasps my face in his hands and touches his lips down against mine.
And he kisses me in such a way that brings back all of the memories of our earlier kisses, like they’ve all been fused together. He kisses me with the gentle fragility of our first exchange in the Green McRusty on Wednesday when our interlocked lips were so new and unknown. He kisses me with the same energy of the moment his lips found mine in Harrison’s basement when the stakes felt so high. He kisses me with the same passion and care that he’d shown last night when things got heated in his bedroom, right before everything fell apart. And yet, here I am now: losing myself in Kai’s embrace, in his scent, in his kiss.
But not for too long, because I will myself to pull away so that I can read the emotion in his eyes. Did he really mean what he just said?
And that’s when I realize that everyone’s attention is fixated upon us. First we were arguing in the middle of the living room, then we were kissing. Everyone’s eyes are wide with fascination and, instantly, I feel like I could die with embarrassment. I look down at my sneakers and let my hair fall over my face so that I can hide.
“Perfect!” I hear Maddie say from beside me a second later. I steal a peek at her, and she is excitedly rubbing her hands together as she huddles in close to Kai and me. She keeps her voice quiet. “You guys did great! That looked so real and that kiss? Woah! Passionate. You should join the drama club! Oh my God. I’m putting your names down first thing on Monday!”
“That wasn’t. . . We weren’t pretending. . .” I stutter, but Maddie has already danced off across the room. I blink after her while Kai bursts into laughter by my side. I turn to him, amazed. No one is looking at us anymore.
“So now that Operation Harr-assassinate is over, it looks like we’re focusing our energy on drama club,” Kai says with that wonderful, devious look of his. He reaches for my wrist and skims his thumb delicately over the back of my hand. He glances up at me, almost shyly. “Can we go outside and talk?”
23
With my fingers intertwined with Kai’s, I follow him through the house and into the back yard. The snow is thick out here and decorated with so many different footprints of the people who have slipped outside to grab a smoke. A couple people chill out over on the patio dining set, sharing cigarettes and laughing into the cold air.
Chyna is also out here. I spot her leaning back against the house, hugging herself to keep warm. She’s talking to Malik Dorsey, her childhood crush who I’ve shared a couple classes with over the years, but she instantly catches my eye over his shoulder. Her expression grows perplexed as she glances back and forth between Kai and me. Last she heard, I didn’t want anything more to do with him, but yet here we are, standing hand-in-hand. She quickly excuses herself from Malik and shuffles over to us. “I’m confused,” she mumbles, looking expectantly at me for an explanation. Her dark eyes are glossy in the freezing air.
“How long have you been out here? Did you miss everything that just happened?” I ask. No wonder she looks frozen if she’s been standing out here the whole time.
Her eyebrows furrow. “What just happened? Besides the obvious.” She gives our hands a pointed glance and I feel my cheeks flush again, though I’m sure they’re already too pink from too much blush and the cold.
“You missed Kai floor Harrison with one punch, for starters.”
“What!” Chyna gasps, unfolding her arms and stepping forward. Her eyes go wide as she turns to Kai.
“He deserved it, of course,” Kai says, glancing down at the snow.
“I always miss out on the good stuff!” Chyna whines. She sighs and glances back over to Malik. “You know what, you can fill me in later, Vans.” The smile she gives me is kind and I know she does want the gossip, but she can see I’m busy with Kai, and she is busy with Malik.
I blow her a kiss, she blows me one, and we both keep them safe. She dashes back across the yard to continue her conversation with Malik.
“Come here,” Kai murmurs, squeezing my hand as he guides me over to some abandoned deck chairs. They’re covered in a layer of snow, but Kai swipes the snow away with his hands and then shrugs off his jacket. He lays the jacket down on one of the chairs and motions for me to sit.
If this is how we catch frostbite, I don’t even care.
We sit down side-by-side, huddled in close, our body warmth radiating between us. My skin is dotted with goosebumps and I hug my jacket tight around my body. I look at Kai, unsure of what exactly to say. My head is still spinning from the declaration he made back inside the house.
Luckily, Kai speaks first. “I didn’t mean anything that I said last night. It all came out wrong,” he tells me again, his voice quiet yet firm. “And I’m not in love with Sierra. Why would you even think that? She screwed me over.”
“I saw you with her. . .” I mumble. “Today at the mall.”
Kai looks as though he could laugh, and I stare blankly at him, wondering what is possibly so funny. He shakes his head, still smiling, and looks sideways at me. “Yeah, she works at Sephora. She begged me to meet her on her lunch break, and I couldn’t resist hearing what she had to say.”
“And what did she have to say?” I press. Were they or were they not rekindling their relationship?
“She apologized. Told me she was sorry for what she did, that she regrets it. Told me she wanted us to give things another shot.” He pauses for a moment, interlocking his hands between his knees the same way he had this morning when he was talking to Sierra at the mall, like he’s thinking really hard about something. He stares off into the distance. “And you know, the crazy thing is that I probably would have believed her.But,” he says, “I’m so not interested in her anymore. It made it so much easier to tell her to go to hell.”
