Page 57 of Releasing 10

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Something in my belly grew.

Something angry.

Something hot.

My breathing got faster and faster until I felt like screaming.

Oh no. No, no, no, no…

I clamped a hand over my mouth to stop myself.

Don’t scream.

Be a good girl.

“Hey.” Hugh sat down on the window seat next to me. “Not having a good time?”

I couldn’t answer him.

I was breathing too fast.

I was trying too hard to keep the scream in.

“Hey, hey…” He leaned in close and looked at me with concern. “You okay?”

I still couldn’t answer him.

All I could do was keep my hand over my mouth and breathe through my nose, while I shook my head.

“Can you breathe?”

I shook my head again, eyes growing wild and fearful.

“You’re okay.” Twisting sideways on the seat to face me, he placed his hand on my shoulder and gently steered me until I was sitting with my back to the room, facing the window. “It’s probably just a panic attack.” He reached for the hand I wasn’t using to cover my mouth and gripped it tightly in his. “Just breathe.”

All I could do was stare at him in horror. Because while I didn’t understand what was happening to me, I knew what would happen next, what always happened next, and I didn’t want my friends to see this.

I didn’t wanthimto see this.

“There you go.” His voice was gentle and kind. “Nice and slow.” He squeezed my hand again. “You’re okay.”

Was I?

I didn’t think so.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to tear every picture frame off the walls. I wanted to run away as fast as I could. I wanted to… I wanted to… I wanted to keep looking into hiseyes.

Focusing all my attention on the boy sitting beside me, I let my eyes roam over his face.

Golden skin.

Yellow hair.

Kind smile.

Eyes like Daddy’s whiskey.

Soap and strawberries.

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