Page 370 of Releasing 10
However, all notions of conjuring mental resolve flew clean out of my head when the shower curtain peeled back and Liz stepped inside.
Naked.
She didn’t speak a word when she slipped under my arm that was still bracing the wall and wrapped her arms around my waist.
I didn’t move a muscle.
I barely took a breath.
Body rigid, I stared down at her blond hair, feeling my heart shatter to pieces, while my body thrummed with delight.
She had her cheek pressed to my chest, and her arms wrapped like a vise around my waist.
We stood like that for what felt like an eternity, with the water pouring down on our joined bodies.
“I’m so sorry,” she finally broke the thick silence by saying. “I’m so, so, so fucking sorry.”
Again, my chest heaved violently as my heart gunned in my chest. “I know,” I managed to croak out, sounding more broken than her.
“I haven’t spoken to him.” Quietly crying, she continued to nuzzle my chest with her cheek. “I haven’t spoken to any boys.”
“Liz.”
“I love you so much,” she strangled out. “I feel like I can’tbreathewithout you.”
I know the feeling.
“Give me another chance,” she begged, welding her body to mine in desperation. “I will do anything—anything—to make it up to you, Hugh. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.” Her cries grew more frantic right along with her pleading. “I won’t go out.I won’t drink. I’ll do the counseling. I’ll take the medication.Anything. Just…pleasedon’t leave me.”
A stronger man would have been able to hold their ground.
But I wasn’t a man yet, and I loved her too much to not comfort her when she was falling apart in my arms.
“I love you, too,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around her. “I always have, and I always will.”
“No, no, no,” she cried, clawing at my back to drag my body closer to hers. “Please don’t say it.”
“But Ican’tbe with you,” I strangled out, holding her up when her legs gave out. “We can’t get back together.”
“I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it,” she continued to sob, shaking her head. “I would never do that to you on purpose!”
That was the thing about cheating; whether it was accidental or on purpose, it hurt just the same.
“I don’t think you meant it, Liz,” I said, voice cracking as my emotions threatened to get the better of me. “But I also don’t trust you not to do it again.”
“I won’t, I won’t, I swear, Hugh,” she pleaded, reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck. “I’ll be good, I promise. A good girl. Like you deserve. I’ll be good this time.”
“It’s not about you being good, baby.”
“I’ll go back on my meds.” Hiccupping another pained sob, she peppered my chest with kisses. “I’ll be steady. You know I can do it. You’ve seen me! So I can be your Lizzie again if you just give me one last chance.”
With every ounce of my heart, I wanted to say yes. I wanted that last chance more than she would ever know. But we’d already had so many that I knew in my heart the outcome. “You say that now, but you’ll change your mind.”
“I won’t, I promise,” she vehemently protested through her tears. “I will take them every day for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to keep you.”
“You’ll take them until you start feeling better, you mean.” I blinked back my tears. “And then you’ll decide that you’re cured, and don’t need them anymore, and you’ll be right back to the beginning. Back to the mania, back to the screaming matches, the not sleeping, and the constant seeking of sex. And then, once you’ve well and truly fucked yourself over, you’ll slip into the depression where you spend weeks at a time in bed, while I spend every waking hour of those weeks wrestling a fucking razor out of your hands.”
“No, I won’t do that this time.”
