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REMAINING MOTIONLESS ON THE TROLLY, ISTARED UP AT THE NURSE AND WATCHEDas she stuck the pads to my forehead and scalp.
“Close your eyes, sweetheart,” she said in an approving tone, stroking my cheek. “You’ll be fast asleep soon.” She checked the line in my hand and smiled. “Just like last time.”
And the time before that.
And the time before that.
Once the anesthesiologist arrived, he would put me to sleep with the mask.
Once I was out, electrical currents would be sent into my brain through the pads, and I would have a seizure.
Closing my eyes when the warm liquid flushed through my veins and the mask was placed on my face, I focused on the mental image of Hugh, while Iprayedfor my mind to never forget a single memory of him.
IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND
Hugh
FEBRUARY 13, 2004
WHENIMETKATIE OUTSIDE THE CINEMA ONFRIDAY NIGHT, IWAS WEIRDLY CALM, which was strange because every time I’d met Liz at the same place, every nerve in my body was shot to shit.
Maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t feel nervous. Maybe I didn’t have to endure heart palpitations around every girl I hung out with.
“No, it’s not a date,” Katie argued at the counter when it came to pay for the tickets. “I’ll pay for my own.”
“Yeah, that’s not happening,” I replied, handing the cashier a twenty before she could. “It’s grand.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know.” I frowned at her popcorn-fee hands. “You sure you don’t want anything?”
“This is good,” she said, waving a bottle of water in front of me. “I’m all set.”
Shrugging, I followed her into screen two and sank down beside her.
“This film is supposed to be unreal,” she whispered, gesturing to the screen in front of us that was starting to light up. “Casey sawMeet the Fockerslast week and she’s still cackling about it.”
It took most of the movie for me to relax.
My muscles were coiled tight with the anticipation of dread.
Like I was waiting for something to happen.
For a fire to put out.
Because there wasalwaysa fire with Liz.
Not this girl, though.
Katie didn’t talk through the film, and she kept her hands to herself.
She was perfectly content to just sit with me, and that threw me.
It honestly felt like she was being sincere when she told me it was company she wanted, and I almost wanted to believe her.
But I had some serious trust issues when it came to hearts that belonged to the opposite sex.
“That was fun,” Katie declared later that night when I walked her to her door. “I really enjoyed myself.”
