Page 356 of Releasing 10
Christ, I was a shitty friend.
“I love ya, Gibs,” I decided to tell him, because why the hell not? Liz had already humiliated me beyond all limits. I didn’t have any pride left to lose. “I don’t know where I’d be right now without you, lad.”
“The feeling is mutual, brother,” he replied, squeezing my knee again. “You’ve gotten me through my fair share of dark days, too.”
“Do you think I’ll be okay?” I whispered, feeling so damaged inside, I needed someone to reassure me. “Will I be able to get past this?”
“Hell yes you will,” he replied confidently. “And if you get stuck on the path of getting past this, I’ll be right behind you to push you over the line.” He smiled encouragingly. “You’vegotthis, Hugo Boss-man, and I’ve your back.” His gray eyes shone with sincerity. “Always.”
“Biggsie!” Luke Casey called out, weaving through the crowd with several bottles of beer in hand. “That was one hell of anepic drop goal today.” Sinking down on the couch beside me, he handed me a bottle and passed another to Gibs. “You won the game for us, lad.”
“That he did,” Gibs chuckled, instantly falling back into his role of the joker. “Pity about the ball cracking Pierce over the head, though.” Gibs winked before adding, “What were the odds?”
“Indeed,” I mused, taking a swig from my bottle.
“Biggsie, what’s the story with your doll?” Danny Call asked when he joined us with a few more of the lads. “Are ye seriously off and she’s fair game?” He inclined his head to where she was grinding all over Pierce and a few others from my class. “Or do ya want me to break his nose for ya?”
“Yeah, I heard about that,” Luke muttered, tone laced with disapproval. “He’s a fucking plonker.”
“Bad form,” Robbie Mac added, narrowing his eyes. “It’s one thing to razz a lad up, but that’s just pure dirt behavior.”
“Do you think you should go over there and put a stop to it?”
If I went over there, then she would think I was willing to talk, and if she thought that, she might try to rekindle us, and I honestly didn’t have the strength to push her away again.
She already knew I loved her, and she already knew I cared. The only tool I had at my disposal was my condemnation. If I lost that, I’d fall back into hell with her, and I couldn’t survive it.
I could handle everything she threw at me, all her episodes and all her moods, but I wouldnottolerate infidelity.
I was pretty sure I could still smell her on the shirt I was wearing. Worse, I had a horrible feeling that said shirt was one she had bought me last Christmas.
Downing the contents of my beer bottle, I made a mental note to wash every stitch of clothing I had.
Everything was tainted, and I needed a clean slate.
“It’s grand, lads,” I replied, vowing to myself that I wouldn’t lose another yard of dignity over them. Not when they’d stripped me to the bone. Shrugging like I didn’t have a care in the world, I leaned back and took a swig of my beer before answering, “Nothing sinister happened.”
“There’s a rumor going around that she fucked Pierce behind your back, lad.”
I forced myself not to wince. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
“So she didn’t?”
“We just decided to call it a day,” I heard myself say, lying through my teeth to protect the reputation of a girl who didn’t give a damn about mine.
“So, it’s like fully off?” Danny pushed, sounding concerned. “As in, permanently?”
“Couldn’t be more permanent,” I replied, forcing myself to look at her one last time. The minute I did, I wanted to fucking heave up the contents of my stomach.
“Fuck.” Danny’s tone was serious when he asked, “Are you okay, Hugh?”
“Cally, I’m grand,” I shot back, giving him a carefree smile. “Don’t worry about it.”
“She’s not his problem anymore” Gibs was quick to add, taking a hit from a joint one of the sixth year’s handed him. “Kum-bay-fucking-ya, Hugo.”
“Listen, I’ll be honest with ya, Hugh,” Luke said when the rest of the lads started up a conversation about today’s game. “She’s been throwing herself around a fair bit with the lads on the team.” Shifting in discomfort, he kept his tone low so that only I could hear him. “Don’t worry, lad,” he hurried to add, clearly uneasy about bringing this up to me. “Aside from Piercy the turncoat, the rest of the lads have your back.”
“I said nothing sinister happened,” I replied, feeling sick.
