If it was even possible.
Something I very much doubted.
I tried to think pragmatically about the breakup, to use logic and reason, but it was so fucking hard when my heart was splattered at her feet.
I couldn’t be the better person, and I couldn’t turn the other cheek this time.
Because it hurt too much.
Because this was it.
If I took her back, this was how it would be for me, and I deserved more.
I loved her enough to stay, I adored her enough to hang on in there, but until when?
When did this end?
What happened when she had another episode?
Would she cheat on me again?
Would I receive another influx of text messages from concerned teammates, telling me about the rumors they’d heard about my girlfriend?
What if I stayed with her and this continued into college and beyond?
What about when we were married and had children?
Would I still have to live like this?
Would I be able to?
And how was I supposed to explain this to the children we shared?
Where was the line?
This, I suddenly realized.
This was the line, the limit, and the breaking point.
This was where we parted.
This was the part where I left the sinking ship.
After her apology, Liz kept texting, kept apologizing, kept phoning.
I had to turn my phone off because it was breaking my heart to ignore her.
When I told her to erase my number, I hadn’t meant it.
But I wasn’t strong enough to handle the aftermath.
Everything inside of me wanted to rush back to her, but I couldn’t.
“Hugh.” My father’s voice infiltrated my thoughts, and I spun around from where I was packing my lunch to find him sitting at the kitchen table. “Sit down, son.”
“Can’t,” I deadpanned, retraining my attention on my lunch. “I have to catch the bus for school.”
“Please, Hugh,” he pushed. “We need to have a little father-son chat. I’ll drive you to school after.”