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“I’m fine,” I replied weakly, feeling a sudden rush of emotion wash over me. “Nothing’s going to happen to me.”
“What I feel for you exceeds anything the realm of love could conjure up,” he told me, eyes full of something I couldn’t quite decipher in my drunken state.
“You have the best lines,” I purred, hooking an arm around his neck and smacking a playful, smooching kiss to his lips.
“It’s good to know my intolerance to vodka stimulates you,” he slurred. “However, I need you to climb off my lap, so I can putthisoverstimulated bastard back in his place.”
“Between my legs?”
“Not helping, Liz. Not helping.”
Breathing hard, he dropped his head to rest on my chest. “What was I thinking?”
“You weren’t, and I loved it.”
“No, Liz.” He shook his head and groaned. “I was two seconds away from fucking you in a toilet.” He looked full of drunken remorse. “I am so sorry.”
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to scream at him to not be sorry and to just keep going, but the look in his eyes assured me that, for tonight, our fun was over. His body was sending a direct message to mine, and his conscience needed to catch the hell on. This was good. This wasexactlywhat we both wanted. I could feel myself slipping; I could feel my impatience taking over.
“Don’t regret me, Hugh,” I said quietly.
“Never,” he vowed, embracing me with tenderness. “You’re the only part of my life I can’t plan for.” He pressed a kiss to my lips. “And the only part I can’t live without.”
RENEGOTIATING THE DATE
Hugh
AUGUST 24, 2003
IT ALMOST HAPPENED AGAIN LAST NIGHT.
Itwouldhave happened if I’d had the foresight to carry protection.
I’d never bought condoms before, and a part of me wanted to delay the transaction because if condoms weren’t on hand, then we couldn’t go further. But an even bigger part of me demanded I haul my ass to the nearest chemist because if Liz had taken it further last night, I wouldn’t have stopped her.
My lack of self-control when it came to my girlfriend was both a terrifying realization and a glaring chink in my armor.
Throughout the course of my life, I had taken great care to plan, prepare, and act in a responsible manner in all aspects of my life, so to know that I was willing to throw caution to the wind on such a serious matter rattled me.
I was cresting sixteen, and I didn’t know how much longer I had it in me to be a gentleman. I knew I was supposed to be, but every time she put her mouth on me, I felt my resolve slip another inch.
“Do you think it would be smart if I bought condoms?” I asked Liz the following afternoon when we were hanging out in my room. Setting the book I wastryingto read aside, I glanced at the gorgeous creature sprawled out on her stomach, with her arms and head resting on my lap. “Just to be safe?”
Liz’s attention snapped up from her own book, and she turned to look at me. “I think that’s the smartest idea you’ve had all summer.” Her smile widened. “If we leave now and take our bikes, we’ll make Sully’s Chemist before it closes.”
“Settle down,” I chuckled, smoothing a hand down her spine. “I wasn’t suggesting we do the deed right here and now.” To be honest, I’d come to terms with the very huge possibility that we weren’t going to hold out until next summer, and my focus had shifted to making it tomybirthday. “What are your thoughts on renegotiating the date?”
“If it brings me closer to what I want, then I’m thinking hell yes,” Liz replied, quickly pulling up on her knees.
With her knees on either side of my legs, my girlfriend crawled up my bed, not stopping until she was hovering above my lap.
“What do you have in mind?” she asked, staring down at me with that familiar glint in her eyes.
I knewexactlywhat that twinkle in her eyes and those flushed cheeks meant.
My willpower was about to be tested.
