Page 198 of Releasing 10
I floated out of my body, up, up, and away from the pain.
Away from the image of her lifeless body.
From her dead-eyed stare as she looked straight through me.
I still had it, though.
The folded-up note.
It was in my pocket right now.
It teleported from my mind to my pocket.
I knew what I was supposed to do.
Whatshetold me to do.
But I was afraid of what would happen.
I was afraid that I was in the throes of a delusion and speaking out would only cause more heartbreak for my mother.
I didn’t want her to suffer any more than she already was.
The sound of her constant wailing haunted me.
But I was even more afraid that Iwasn’thallucinating, because if I wasn’t and this was real, then it was even more important that I made myself forget.
Because if I had to remember, then I had to acknowledge, and if I did that, if I told someone, likehedid, then I would lose the person I loved most.
I would loseHugh.
He promised he would do it.
But Caoimhe promised the opposite.
She promised if I told Gibsie, if I just gave him the note, we would be safe.
He wouldn’t be able to get me again.
But she wasn’t here anymore.
She couldn’t help me.
What if Gibsie told him?
What would happen to Hugh?
But what if none of this was real?
What if my mind was playing tricks on me again and I was going to wake up and find Caoimhe eating cereal in the kitchen?
What if I was the one who died that night?
What if I killed her?
Maybe she didn’t jump?
Maybe I pushed her?
