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“If you fart on me again, I will kill you dead,” she squealed, trying and failing to scramble to safety. “Fair warning, Gibs.”
“Too late,” he chuckled, wrestling her onto the floor. “It’s on the way.”
“Gibsie, no!” Laughing hysterically, Liz pushed at his chest when he started making engine noises. “Don’t you dare—ahh!”
“Brmm, brmm, brmm,” he snickered, making engine noises as he slowly lowered his ass onto her face and let out the vilest ripper of a fart. “Merry Christmas!”
“Ahh! I can taste it,” Liz screamed. “I can taste beans on my tongue!”
I wanted to help her, but I was too busy laughing uncontrollably.
Heaving and gagging, Liz scrambled out from beneath him and dove for my bedroom window.
Pushing the window open, she leaned over the sill, gulping for air through fits of laughter. “If I get conjunctivitis from you, I swear to God, Thor, I will make it my life’s mission to torment you.”
“Ooh, fighting words, viper.” Jumping to his feet, Gibs banged on his chest like a gorilla. “I’m ready for ya.”
“Oh yeah?” Challenge accepted, Liz climbed onto the windowsill and took aim at Gibs. “You think you’re hard enough to take me on, do ya?”
“Oh, you better believe it, viper. I’m Matt and Jeff combined,” Gibs goaded, beckoning her with his fingers to go for it. “I’m the third brother of the Hardy Boyz.”
“Yeah, well, get ready for Lita’s moonsault, bitch,” Liz warned and then proceeded to turn her back to him and crouch.
“Liz, no, no, no, there’s no padding!” Gibs tried to protest, hurrying to intercept her. “Wait! You’re going to break your—ahhhh!”
“No fucking way!” I cheered completely mesmerized by the girl who executed the perfect backflip off my bedroom window. Not only that but she managed to flatten Gibs like a pancake.
“I’m dead,” he wailed from beneath her, while my sister squealed from behind a pillow. “I’m dead, I tell ya!”
“Smell that, Thor,” Liz cackled, pinning him to the carpet, wrestling style.“Victory.”
“You are a strange and terrifying female,” he mused. “But an unforgettable one.”
Cackling, she helped him up. “Are you hurt?”
“Only my pride.”
PART 8
Monsters Everywhere
I’LL BE SEEING YA, KID
Lizzie
JANUARY 22, 1999
IT HAPPENED AGAIN LAST NIGHT.
The monster attacked me in my sleep again, hurting me so severely that I brought my injuries back to reality with me.
It hurt to sit on my chair in class, and by the time big lunch rolled around, I was close to losing my mind. Every part of my body ached, but it was my mind that was truly shaken up. Because it was getting harder and harder to tell the difference between what was real and what was my imagination.
Reaching my breaking point, I avoided my friends at break, escaping from the classroom as soon as the lunch bell rang. Praying for an escape and seeking out solace, I hid behind the wall at the back of the pitch, knowing Shannon and Claire wouldn’t find me here.
Sitting cross-legged on the grass, I slumped against the wall behind me and tried to breathe through the pain. I wasn’t sure which was worse: the pain in my mind or the one between my legs.
The scalding-hot tears trickling down my cheeks were my only assurance that I was, in fact, awake and in school. I could feel, touch, taste, and see my tears. Those werereal, which meant I was, too.
