Page 69 of Of Blood and Banes
He flicks out an expressive hand gesture. “Exactly my point!”
“Why would you do something like that?”
“Because you’re incredibly stubborn. You don’t ask for help when you need it. And you especially don’t like to be seen as weak?—”
“Because I’m not weak!” I slap a hand to my chest.
“No…you’re not…” His eyes soften slightly, holding my gaze in a headlock. “But you have this twisted idea that you can’t ask for help when you need it, andthatis what makes you weak.”
“That’s your excuse for practically tackling Sethan to the ground?”
“To him, you are a tool!” His fury spikes again. “You are nothing but a means to an end to him, and it would be wise that you remember that. He doesn’t care about you—he only cares about what it’s going to take to save his people. And he needs to be reminded you are a person. People break. And if he pushes you too hard?—”
“No, you’re misguided. You’ve always been the one to take it too easy on me.”
“What is it you want from me, Kat? You want me to back off? You want me to step away and leave you alone? Then just come out and say it. Because I’m not going to stop until you do.”
The thought alone tears at my heart, an echo of pain rippling inside of my chest. As the pain recedes like a tide, it summons the betrayal from learning of his engagement with Celeste. “I want you to stop lying to me! Stop trying to protect me and tell me the fucking truth!”
“The truth?” He thunders closer, staring at me down his sharp nose. “You can’t handle honesty?—”
“Fucking try me!” I throw my hands out to the side, completely careless about who might hear us at this point.
“Alright. You know what? Ihadlied to you, you’re right. I omitted the truth about Celeste. About being engaged. I also lied to you all the times I was late meeting you at the river back in Padmoor. It wasn’t because I was caught up playing tea parties with Arabella. And I didn’t go days without seeing you at times because I had to help my father in the forge. It was because my father beat the absolute,” he spits the next words out on the ground,“shitout of me when he found out I was using our coin to help you.”
My breath catches in my chest like a trapped bird, fluttering inside my ribcage begging to be freed.“What?”
He continues, “Vivian never hated you—she hated theideaof you. The effect you had on me. She hated that I loved you so much, I would give anything just for you to survive another day. I would put you above my own life. And when she walked in one day and found me unconscious, bleeding out at the hands of my father, she begged me to leave you. Cried for me to let you go.”
His anger subsides, his breath still heavy but his eyebrows pinch together as he shakes his head. “But I couldn’t. I couldn’t…because you were and are everything to me.” His voice cracks. “My heartrunsto you. Why can’t you see that?”
Rushing in like a current, flashes of memories flood me. How I would sometimes wait hours by the river for him to come. How mussed and flustered he looked when he finally did show. I thought maybe he was only stressed from being late. And the occasions where he would go days without meeting me had always angered me. All this time, I thought he had other matters to attend to, and perhaps I wasn’t a priority for him. But the dark rims around his eyes weren’t from lack of sleep in the times he did show up late.
They must have beenbruises.
His chest heaves up and down, eyes burning into mine. “So…forgive me for not telling you about the engagement. Forgive me that I love you. Forgive me that it shatters me to know I’m the one who fucked this all up, and I havenoidea how to get back to you. Forgive me that I fuckinghatemyself for pushing you so far away you fell into someone else’s arms?—”
“It was nothing…”
He blows out a heavy breath, eyes dragging away from me to take a break before they’re back. “I don’t believe you. You’re not that kind of person.”
“And you know what kind of person I am?”
“He will hurt you, Kat,” he croaks. “And I can’t stand the thought of seeing someone hurt you again. He will break. Your. Heart.”
“There’s not much more to break.” I push past him, avoiding his eye contact. “You made sure of that.”
CHAPTER 24
STUBBORN ARROGANCE
Sethan leads our group of Vitalans and Arterians deeper into Driftmond, Cole at the back of the line with Archie. I can’t bear the sullen look on Cole’s face, so I keep my eyes focused on the town around us. Colorful ropes with dragon symbols swoop across the street, anchored to tall, sharp-angled buildings. The cobblestone streets are wide enough for dragons to pass through. Townspeople dip their heads in respect as we pass, their eyes wide as they behold Daeja—the only black dragon anyone has likely ever seen.
And Daeja eats it up.
Her lips twitch up into the look of a grin, her chin held high as she struts through the town. Though, she accidentally knocks over a kid crossing the street behind us with the tip of her tail. I swear it’s the highlight of the kid’s life as he gawks at Daeja. He dismisses my concern before scampering off and chattering about it with another group of kids across the street.
Sethan leads us to the northwestern part of the town and stops near the outskirts where the buildings give way to a hillside. Daeja grumbles beside me.
