Page 116 of Of Blood and Banes
Hearing him use such vulgar language is like a dagger to my lungs. And even though we are a healthy distance away, I can’t help but whisper, “Listen?—”
“No, you listen! I have been nothing but honest with you. I have told you all my secrets, even if it was hard for me to admit. And when I found out about,” he whips a hand up to Daeja, “her, I kept that a secret fromeveryone! Even when it could have lead to my execution!”
“I know,” I whimper. “I know?—”
“No. You don’t know. Because even after all this time, it’s still not enough for you to trust me with the truth! Who all knew about Cole not being your brother before I did, huh?”
I shake my head, my pulse racing. It feels unfair to put Melaina in such a situation?—
“Answer the question, Kat.” His voice is an unsettling amount of seriousness.
“Why? Why does it matter?”
“Because it’ll show me all the people you’ve trusted over me.”
“But that’s not why they kno?—”
“Answer the Gods. Damn. Question.”
Letting go of a breath, I sag my head. “Sethan…Marge…and…Melaina.”
He tips his head back to look up at the sky and turns his back to me.
I reach forward and grab his shoulder. “Marge put it together herself. Sethan caught Cole and me kissing. And Melaina…don’tbe mad at her. I asked her to let me be the one to tell you. And because of this sick, twisted prophecy, she was forced to comply to my wishes.”
He turns to glance at me. “It doesn’t matter. You still told her before me.”
I swallow. Here comes the next blow. “Because I slept with Darian. For a second time. The first time was in Arterias when I almost left in the middle of the night after I found out Cole was engaged to Celeste. And the second time was last night. Melaina just found out this morning when she came to my door, and I asked if she could get me pennyroyal from Sethan.”
“And you couldn’t have asked me?”
“Arch…” I pull him to face me, angling my neck to try and look him in the eyes. “If I asked you to get pennyroyal from Sethan, he would have had your head put on a spike before you could explain it wasn’t for you and Melaina.”
He turns his brown eyes on me.
“And…and…” I pull my glove off my left hand. The words pour out of me like a floodgate. And now I’m just desperate to tell him everything, if it means he won’t hold me at arm’s length. “This ring? The Blood Ring? It links my life to the King’s. But long before I knew what it was, I wore it as Cole’s fiancé. Before he came to the military, before he was engaged to Celeste…”
A tear slips down my cheek. “He was mine. He was mine first. And I loved him. All I knew was him. All I wanted was him. And…and now I don’t know what I want anymore. I feel like things are slipping from my fingers like quicksand. And I don’t know how to stop it. I am so sorry I kept it from you. It wasn’t because I don’t trust you. A secret like this would destroy the trust the rest of the Arterians have in us, and we had to get to Vitalis first. And I know—Iknow—you wouldn’t let it slip. But I didn’t want to add pressure to everything else you’re carrying. I’ve never had a friendship outside of Cole before you. So I?—”
My vision gets blurry as I shake my head. “You don’t deserve my dishonesty.” My voice wobbles. “I’m the worst friend.”
The silence stretches between us. His eyes are narrowed, his jaw set.
Finally, he mutters, “Best. The worstbestfriend.”
He pulls me into his arms, and Isob.And just when I think he can’t hug me tighter, he does.
“I’ll forge a blood pact with you. I’ll swear to never keep secrets from you again.” I sniffle into his shirt, now damp with my tears.
He pulls me back to look me in the eyes. The small smile on his face warms my chest. “No, Kat. You don’t need to do that.”
“I’ll never be secretive again. I want you to know it’s true when I say that.”
“Then I suppose you’ll need to make it up to me.” He squeezes his hands on my shoulders.
“Whatever you want. Name it.”
He glances over his shoulder at Daeja, who’s watching us in silence.
