Page 103 of Beyond the Winter Kingdom
I spun.
Vareck was on his knees, head bowed, hands buried in the grass as if holding on could stop him from falling apart. His shoulders trembled, slow and uneven, like each breath was a fight he wasn’t winning. His breath was harsh and uneven, like each one cost him.
Low, ragged, and damaged. Like the air had been ripped out of his lungs and replaced with nothing. It wasn’t a scream. It wasn’t a roar.
It was pain; raw and unshaped.
I crawled toward him. “Vareck?—”
“She’s gone.” His words rang hollow, a deep emptiness emanating from them.
I reached for his arm. He didn’t flinch or pull away or react in any way. It was like he wasn’t here at all. Not mentally, at least.
“What do you mean by gone?”
“I can’t feel her.” His eyes lifted to mine, and gods, I almost wished they hadn’t. The despondent look on his face was a man undone. “The bond’sgone, Sadie.”
I gripped his shoulder hard. “It’s not gone. You’re just cut off?—”
“No. This is different.” His voice was flat, but the way his fingers curled deeper into the grass told another story—one of fury barely leashed.
“Vareck . . .”
He shook his head, the movement sharp and final. “You don’t understand. It’s not distance. It’s not interference. It’sgone.” His breath hitched, and for a second, his gaze darted past me, unfocused. “It’s like someone took a blade and cut it clean. No fray. No thread.”
The muscles in his jaw flexed so hard I worried he might crack his teeth.
“We’ll find a way to get it back,” I said, trying to keep my tone level.
His laugh was quiet and without humor. “You don’t just ‘get it back’, Sadie. A bargain with the ley lines isn’t something you can go back on ...” He trailed off, shaking his head again, slower this time, like he was still trying to convince himself it wasn’t true.
“Vareck.”
He blinked, and when his eyes came back to me, there was a spark there, explosive and unstable. The grass rippled under my knees, though there was no wind. Warm mist slid against my skin. The Fold was listening. Watching.
The air thickened, the kind of subtle shift you only notice when you’ve been in dangerous places before.
Vareck’s shoulders drew tighter, his whole body taut like a bowstring. “I can’t—” His breath came shorter now, and his hands left the grass, curling into fists. “I can’t breathe without feeling her there.” His voice cracked again, the anger and grief colliding into something volatile.
“Then you breatheforher,” I said sharply. “Until we find her.”
“And if we don’t?”
I shook my head. “Don’t talk like that. We’re going to find her. They’re on their way here. The bond may be gone for now, but Meera isn’t?—”
“You don’t know that.”
“You don’t either!” I snapped back. I was trying to be encouraging, but guilt and frustration bled into every word. Vareck was right. I didn’t know shit when it came to bonds or ley lines. All I knew was that I couldn’t afford to think my sister wasn’t okay. I pushed him to drink because we had no choice, and it wasn’t fair that I got away scot-free while Vareck had topay the ultimate price. None of that changed the fact I refused to believe Meera was gone.
A low chuckle slid from between his lips. Uneasiness ate at me as I watched his descent.
“This is what I get for the things I’ve done.”
The darkness in his voice sent ice through my veins, and I stood there frozen. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Vareck didn’t answer immediately. He kept his eyes on the horizon, jaw still clenched so tightly it looked like it hurt. Magic rippled faintly around him, the Fold responding to emotions he wasn’t even speaking aloud.
“Vareck,” I said, more forcefully, wishing I could compel him to pay attention. That power resided with the high fae, of which I was not. “What do you mean about the things you’ve done?”
