Page 61 of Beyond the Winter Kingdom
“Yeah ...” I trailed off. “Huge.”
“You don’t sound excited about it.”
“I ...” How could I explain it to her when I couldn’t even explain it to myself? “It’s not that, exactly.”
“Then what is it? Because the guy is totally crazy about you and he’s hot as hell. I love you, but like, you’re living a fantasy right now and don’t seem to see it. The man you’ve been dreaming of for years turns out to be real,andhe’s single,andhe wants to commit?” Sadie let out a low whistle. “I’m not looking for anything serious right now, but if I was, I would jump at the chance you have.”
I sighed. “I know I’m lucky, okay?” Frustration bled into my tone despite my attempt to keep it at bay. “It’s just ... look, Amelia was our friend, right? And our friend shoved us into a hell realm where the inhabitants want to eat us, and honestly, we have no idea why she did it. How good a judge of character am I? I trusted Amelia, and I have no idea how long she’s been playing us. Hell, I even trusted Lou to an extent. Look where those choices got me.”
Sadie’s brown eyes softened. “Meera, you made a mistake. That doesn’t mean everyone you meet is going to double-cross you.”
I snorted. “This from the woman that only casually dates because the idea of settling down hurts too much after Klaid the Fuckwit broke your heart, what, six years ago? Seven?”
Sadie inhaled sharply. “That’s not fair.”
“All I’m saying is pot, meet kettle,” I motioned from her to me. “Mating isn’t like marriage. It’s forever. Being fated on top of that?” I shook my head. “At least when chosen mates get together, they’ve usually spent enough time together that they feel confident that they know the other person. I’ve known Vareck for like two weeks.”
“You dreamed of him for years.”
I rolled my eyes. “We weren’t exactly talking in those dreams.”
“But you were getting to know each other,” Sadie teased, a smirk curling her mouth.
I nudged her with my elbow. “Stop. You know what I mean.”
“What? I’m just saying, the body does talking of its own.”
“Sadie.”
“What?”
“Shut up.”
She threw her head back and laughed like she didn’t have a care in the world. Like we were back home on one of our hiking trips and I’d just busted my ass walking on flat ground. Like we weren’t in a hell realm we might never escape.
I swallowed hard, pushing that thought away.
“You’re scared,” she said after a short pause. “I’m no expert, but I am ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure that’s normal. Mom was always talking about our emotions and being allowed to feel our feelings, right? Fear is normal.” Although she paused, I could sense she wasn’t done talking, so I didn’t say anything.“So feel it, but if you let it control you, then you could lose out on something really special.”
I pressed my lips together. “How do I know it’s not a mistake? That what I feel for him now, I’ll feel in a year? A decade? A century? We live over five-hundred years, Sadie. That’s a long time to just make the decision on a whim.”
“But it’s not a whim,” Sadie insisted. “Meera, you’ve been a romantic all your life. You read those smutty books where the girl gets kidnapped and forced into marriage all the time. How does it work out for them? Must be good or you wouldn’t keep reading.”
I scoffed. “Those are stories. That’s different.”
Sadie shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Fated mates were just stories too and now you’ve got yourself one. All I’m saying is, if the universe picked one person out of the nine realms and slapped you upside the head with a bond saying, ‘this person is the one,’ maybe you should listen to it.”
“You’re awfully pro-mating for someone who has been against it her entire life.”
Sadie snorted. “To be fair, it’s easier to give advice than take it. For another, I don’t have a similar experience to go off of. The boy I thought I’d mate and spend forever with turned out to be a serial cheater who couldn’t pick up his dirty underwear off the ground. I’ve gone from one bad decision to another since then. Mating isn’t in my cards. At least not anytime soon, if ever.”
I bumped my shoulder against hers, chastising her negativity. “Don’t say that. You never know what’s waiting for you out there.”
Sadie shrugged. “I’m not mad about it. Before Klaid, all I dreamed of was becoming a great fighter. He threw all my plans off. Once he was in the rearview mirror, I refocused on that goal. But you’re not like me, Meera. Even as a kid you used to daydream about Mr. Perfect. While I was out there picking fightsand throwing punches, you mated your dolls, choosing which other doll you thought was their best match. You had a list, remember? What you wanted in a mate. You were so excited to fall in love, even before you understood what it meant.”
I shuddered. “Ugh, don’t remind me. It’s embarrassing to think about. Even so, I grew up, and it turned out that men are”—I glanced toward Vareck, who was probably a hundred feet ahead of us—”complicated.”
Sadie laughed. “It’s not just men. Women can be a handful too, but they know how to find a clit.”
