Page 13 of The Christmas Express
‘You’re good with people,’ Joss replies, and we all take a short moment to process the irony of this conversation, between these people. ‘Present company excluded,’ she snorts. ‘Sorry, too soon.’
My face is hot and my hands are all sweaty and my legs and knees are jelly from crouching, so I clamber up while whispering, ‘I can’t just go and ask her why she’s on the plane. I’m not an air marshal.’
‘Fine, I’ll ask her.’ Joss stands.
‘No.’ I block her. ‘I’ll ask her. In a while. I don’t want to make it too obvious we’ve all just been talking about her.’
Joss shrugs and stalks back to her seat without another word. I dawdle beside Luke for a moment. I want to keep talking to him but I seem to have forgotten every word from the dictionary again. So I make a sound which is a little bit like ‘bye’ and stroll back to my seat.
Despite every effort to concentrate on the episode of The Office I’ve put on my TV screen, I can only focus on my interaction with Luke. I replay it again and again, tweaking myself so the imaginary version says cooler things or holds his gaze for a little longer. In some versions I’m a rock star and tell him how he hurt me and that I’m better without him and that our week together should never have happened. In other versions he leans down and kisses me and tells me he’s thought about me every second of every day.
I’m lost in my thoughts and making a sultry kissy face towards Steve Carell on my screen when the man next to me waves his hand in front of my eyes. I pull off my headphones.
He sighs. ‘I think this lady wants your attention. She’s been saying the word “Cali” at you for a minute or two.’
‘Oh!’ Ember is standing beside my row, pulling on the sleeves of her sweatshirt, her eyes scanning the plane. ‘Hi, Ember?’
She turns back to me and I see her properly for the first time. Her face is free of make-up, her skin lightly tanned and sprinkled with freckles like she spends most of her days outdoors, even in the winter. Now she’s taken off the baseball cap, I can see that her hair is lighter, tousled, and pulled up in a messy ponytail.
Ember opens and closes her mouth a few times but I can’t bear the silence so I fill it with, ‘So, how are you? What’s new? Your hair looks gorgeous.’
‘Um, thanks. I mean, so does yours.’
‘This old thing,’ I say and laugh too loud, and even the man next to me shifts in his seat with second-hand embarrassment.
‘Can I talk to you for a second?’ Ember asks.
‘Sure, go ahead.’
She looks down at the people in my row who she’s talking over. ‘Could we . . .’
‘Oh, yes, sorry.’ I unclip my belt and stand up. ‘Sorry, could I just? . . . Thanks . . . Sorry.’ I follow her down to the back of the plane where we stuff ourselves into that little gap between the loo and the galley, a small window showing the first signs of white-frosted Canadian mountain peaks passing below us.
‘Hi,’ I say to her for the third time this flight. ‘So . . . what brings you to Canada? Do you know about, um—’
‘About Bryn getting married? Yes.’
‘Oh good. That’s why you’re here?’ She shuffles, darting her eyes like she’s working out the right answer. ‘I mean, not to marry her, I know you aren’t the bride,’ I say, laughing. That didn’t seem like a cruel laugh, did it? Oh God, I didn’t mean it like that. I better clear this up. ‘Not that you couldn’t be. Or couldn’t have been. I just mean it’s not your name on the invite.’
Ember cuts me off, thank Christ. ‘No, it’s fine. Yes, that’s why I’m here. For the wedding.’
‘Are you going to be staying in the cabin with us?’
‘No,’ she replies. She’s looking at me really closely. Is there something on my face? Did I make my spot bleed? Again? ‘Actually, I didn’t expect to see any guests – other guests – this side of Christmas.’
‘Oh yeah, we’re all connecting in Toronto and carrying on to Vancouver and staying in Bryn’s fiancée’s family’s massive cabin for Christmas. She wanted us to spend some time together before the wedding.’
Ember presses her lips into a line. ‘Cosy.’
‘Well . . .’ A mini eye roll loop-de-loops on my face before I can stop it. ‘Um, where are you going to be staying?’
‘I-I don’t know yet.’
‘You don’t have somewhere to stay? Over the holidays?’
‘I’m just going to see how things pan out.’ Ember is being coy as heck.
‘So, you and Bryn are good friends again now?’ I smile.
