Page 76 of The Christmas Express
She yawns. ‘I don’t think I have enough drama in me.’
Hmm. ‘I wonder if the train will start moving again during the night.’ I lean over the bunk. ‘Look, maybe we won’t even make it to Vancouver for this stupid wedding anyway. Then in a way, problem solved. Do you think Bryn would delay the wedding if we don’t make it?’
Ember chuckles, swiftly followed by a groan. ‘I don’t know what to do any more.’
‘Well, do you still want to see Bryn or not?’
‘I don’t know. I think so. But maybe that’s not enough, now.’
‘How will you feel if you don’t see her? Will you regret it?’
She opens her eyes and looks up at me. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be talking me out of it?’
Resting my chin on the bed, I gaze down at the floor. ‘You know how sometimes doing nothing can make you feel lethargic? I think I’m just shattered, and am just all for moving forward, somehow, whatever that looks like. I also think I’ll have a hangover in the morning.’
‘You’re not going to puke on me, are you?’
‘I don’t think so. I’ll let you know if that changes.’
She’s quiet for a time and then moans, ‘I feel used.’
‘You think Alex used you?’
‘I think she might have done. She says she didn’t, that she truly liked me and just felt she couldn’t tell me, but I still feel like a prize knob.’
‘Well . . . that is the best type of knob to be.’ I pad down the bunk steps to retrieve my water bottle, pull a sweatshirt over my PJs, and sit on the edge of her bed while I sip. ‘So, you don’t believe what Alex said, about liking you?’
‘I mean, I think I believe her.’
‘Did you go into this thinking it would be more than a holiday romance?’
‘I didn’t go into it thinking anything, really. I was talking to her about Bryn. But she’s cute and we had chemistry and . . . it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. It was nice, even if it wasn’t serious.’
‘That’s a lot of past tense,’ I comment. ‘Considering you got something positive from it.’
‘Positive? I’m more confused than ever. And what about you?’ Ember asks. ‘Why are you sitting in here with me when behind that wall is the guy everybody knows you’re meant to be with. You know, apart from your boyfriend.’ She smirks at me.
‘So . . . there is no “Boyfriend Luke”. I made him up.’
‘Shocker.’
I laugh, and take another gulp of water before offering the bottle to her. ‘I am too afraid of rocking the boat. Or the train. And I mean that metaphorically, not like, if it’s rocking, don’t come knocking.’
‘Is that why you stayed in London, even after all the others left?’
‘Partly. I know it, like a comfort blanket. But I love the city like you’ve always loved the countryside and the coast.’
‘What do you love about it?’
What don’t I love about it? ‘You can be exactly who you want to be. There’re always possibilities and opportunities and people to meet and things to go and see. In a big city I feel like I could make anything happen.’
‘Do you? Make things happen? Explore lots of new opportunities?’
‘No . . .’
‘You don’t want to see what happens?’
Hmm. ‘I do want to see what happens, but I’m afraid.’
