Page 40 of The Christmas Express
I give her a minute to elaborate, sneaking peeks at her from the corner of my eye. Okay, I guess she isn’t planning to. ‘Why?’
That’s when I see her glance at Luke, even though he’s staring down at the snow under his feet. ‘A lot of reasons.’
‘You don’t want to talk about it?’
Joss stops and faces me. ‘Nope. Do you want to talk about your plans to ruin our friend’s happy day?’
‘Joss.’ Luke sighs.
‘It’s fine,’ I tell him. ‘I’m not going to ruin her happy day. I’d been planning to get to her nearly a week before her wedding, if you remember.’
‘There aren’t any eligible women wherever you’re living now?’
‘Probably, but I haven’t been looking.’
Joss’s gaze shifts away from me for a moment, looking at some Christmas lights strung through the branches of a row of trees. Her face is illuminated, a shadow in the crease of her brow. ‘Have you still had feelings for her all this time?’
‘No,’ I answer, as honestly as I can. ‘Not consciously. I’ve been doing well on my own, and I think I made the right decision to move away, but, I’m sure you know that sometimes there’s no controlling your own heart. And right now’ – I tap my chest – ‘this is what she wants.’
Joss blinks at me, her eyes scanning my face, her own guarded, but with a hint of understanding. Without another word, she starts walking again, and Luke and I fall into stride beside her.
Five minutes later, as we enter the park, Joss wipes the snot dribbling from her nose due to the cold and asks, ‘Are we skating?’
I’m having a nice time. Turns out, skating is something I’m not half bad at, and gently following trails through snow-covered trees, past pretty, festive illuminations, isn’t the worst way to spend an evening. Even with Luke and Joss for company.
The two of them haven’t been very chatty, but I’m like the go-between, the peacemaker. Or maybe there’s something about me being here that’s comforting to them, because I’m not part of their gang any more.
I glide around a curved path, cold air kissing my cheeks.
If this thing with Bryn is real, if I’m not imagining the signs, and if she still has feelings for me and we give things another go, would I move to Canada? Would she move back to the UK? And if she did, would she still want to live in a city or could she come to love coastal life?
I like Canada. And I loved Bryn. So maybe I would consider coming out here. Leaving my beach house, leaving my friends.
My bag weighs on my back, pulling me towards forgetting this whole thing. I don’t have to get back on the train. Bryn never needs to know I was out here. I could just take this solo expedition and return home, and continue with life. I like my life.
Ooof. I skate over a bump on the verge, tripping and slipping forwards, earning a face full of snow.
Chapter 20
Joss
It’s so fucking pretty in Winnipeg. I’m furious about it. Here I am trying to make my point, not let my guard down, even taking a silent lesson from Sara on looking unbothered by everything around me, and then this place shows up looking like a winter wonderland and trying to jingle my bells.
And Ember is being nice which isn’t helping me at all. I thought she was going to be the villain here, but now they’re all making it seem like I am. I never did anything to them.
I bend my knees a little more and skate faster, leaving Luke and Ember behind me, further back on the stupid, beautiful snowy trail. I’m a good skater, I don’t need them.
The path divides, two pale streaks glowing in the dark under the string lights and I hesitate, digging my toe into the ice to keep me steady. Maybe I’ll wait for them after all.
I look behind me and sigh. There he is, Luke, eyes on the ground, thoughts elsewhere. One guess as to where.
‘Hurry up,’ I huff as they reach me.
Luke glances at me, catching my eye but barely seeing me and almost as if I’m transparent his eyes move past me and back to the path to our right. To the path the others went down.
Of course they all came here as well. This telepathic neediness we all had back in the day to be in close proximity hasn’t gone away, even though some of us would like it to have.
Of course I noticed that he helped her put her boots on. Of course she let him.
