Page 25 of The Christmas Express
‘Yeah.’
Joss and Joe walk in next, closely followed by Luke, who takes a seat opposite Cali and beside Sara. She just rolled her eyes. Huh.
Joe takes a seat across the aisle from Luke, Joss across the aisle from Cali. I swallow, my throat dry. I’m such a gooseberry on this trip, and now they’re probably extra mad they can’t all sit together because I’ve taken one of the prime spots.
There’s a strained silence between our tables. Joss’s cutlery clinks as she shoves it aside to rest her phone on the table. Luke clears his throat. Sara shifts in her seat, causing the soft leather to creak. The train glides along its tracks with a ba-doom ba-doom, ba-doom ba-doom.
‘Welcome aboard – can I get you folks started with something to drink?’
‘Oh, thank fuck,’ Joss mutters across the aisle. ‘Wine, please.’
‘I’ll have the same,’ I exhale. ‘Red. Thanks.’
‘Make that three.’
‘Four.’
Looks like we’re all going straight for the wine, then.
When the server leaves to get our drinks – I hope she’s quick with my wine – I wait for someone to speak. But still nobody does. I glance at each of them in turn, and all I see are stony faces, pressed together lips, eyes fixated on the view outside the window, or their phones, or the ceiling. Except Cali, she keeps taking small inhales like she’s thought of something to say then scraps that idea.
Joss huffs out of the blue, and shoves her phone back in her pocket. ‘Why are we even having lunch together? This is such a farce.’
‘We have to eat,’ mutters Luke.
Cali fiddles with the sleeve of her jumper. ‘I just thought we should make an effort. We don’t know anyone else on the train. I’m not being . . .’ She trails off, and a blush creeps over her.
The wine arrives, big glasses of it, and we all knock back some gulps and make our orders from the menu. Like with the wine, we all order the same thing – the pasta with a starter salad – which comes as no surprise. This group always used to end up ordering the same meal because whatever the first person chose the next would worry about getting food envy, and it was a trickle effect down until, as usual, they all ended up having the same thing. I used to find it funny. Now I find it annoying, for no real reason. But I don’t want to change my order now and stick out even more.
Oh, for God’s sake, I can’t bear it. ‘I know you’re all angry at me,’ I state. ‘I can get off at the next station and head back to Toronto if you’re going to let it ruin your Christmas.’
‘No, we’re not angry at you,’ says Cali, shaking her head so quickly her curls ripple.
‘I’m a little angry at her,’ says Joss.
‘Give it a rest,’ Joe says with a sigh.
‘It’s true.’ Joss leans around Cali and looks me dead in the eye. ‘I’m just being truthful with you. What you’re doing is messed up and I feel like we’re now babysitting you.’
I shake my head and hold her gaze. ‘It’s not messed up. I’m sorry you feel that way, but this is between Bryn and me. And I don’t need you babysitting me.’
‘It’s not between you and Bryn, Bryn doesn’t even know you’re in the country.’ Joss stops talking and looks around at the others. ‘And I can’t decide if we should tell her, warn her, or hope “the ex” here just goes home.’ She jabs a finger towards me.
I take another large gulp of my wine, steady my voice, and say, ‘I hope you don’t tell her. I don’t want to ambush her, but I also don’t think she needs the information to come via all of you. Who are a little biased.’
‘You’re a little deluded,’ Joss mutters.
Cali let’s out a sharp exhale. ‘Can we just have lunch?’ She holds her glass aloft in an ill-timed cheers, but she’s the type of person you don’t want to leave hanging, so we all reach over to clink our glasses against hers. ‘Here’s to . . . I don’t know . . . being in Canada. To Christmas on a train.’
‘To Bryn’s wedding,’ Joss says, arching a brow at me. Stupid cow.
‘To a merry Christmas,’ Luke says. I’m not sure if he’s being facetious – I remember he always had a dry sense of humour – but we all clink our glasses again.
‘It’s been a while since we’ve done that. Doesn’t feel quite as authentic as it used to, does it?’ remarks Sara when we all go to put our glasses down. I pick mine up immediately, somehow feeling protected having a drink between me and them, and I shrink back into my seat to watch the conversation and get out of Joss’s eyeline.
Our salads are brought over swiftly. Across from me, Luke’s eyes keep flicking to Cali. It’s fast, like he doesn’t want to be caught. But I caught him, so I expect the others can see it too. I remember telling Bryn I thought they had a thing for each other, but she said I was imagining it.
I have a little urge to throw a grenade into the middle of the table and ask him straight-out, but I push it down.
