Page 95 of A Winter in Wonderland
I hadn’t seen Shay in what felt like so long. She’d finished with uni the year before and seemed to be living the high life in London with some fancy recruitment firm, and she was always busy. I couldn’t wait to catch up with her, and found myself quickening my step to get home quicker.
But when I reached the front door, something was wrong. Theoutdoor lights Dad insisted on putting around the front door every year weren’t switched on. The woodsmoke smell from the open fire in Dad’s living room wasn’t creating the homely aroma in the air around the house. I opened the door, expecting to hear Shay and Dad chattering, or special Christmas TV episodes playing, or the clank of dishes over the soundtrack of carols.
‘Dad?’ I called into the still house.
At the end of the corridor, my dad walked past an open doorway, listening into the landline phone receiver. He looked up and waved at me, then put his hand back on his forehead and walked out of sight.
I froze on the spot, unable to move with the weight of worry that fell on me.Where’s Shay?
Hearing Dad say in an unusual, croaky voice to the person on the other end of the phone, ‘All right, thank you for letting us know. My other daughter’s just arrived so, um, I’ll call back in a while to get the latest. Thank you. Thank you. Goodbye.’
‘Dad?’ I whispered.
A moment later he reappeared in the door and walked straight over to me, wrapping me in a tight squeeze.
‘Dad, what’s happening? Is something wrong with Shay?’
‘She’s OK, she’s OK,’ he said, kissing my forehead.
‘Then what is it?’
He took my suitcase from my hand and led me to the living room and sat me on the sofa. My heart thudded the whole time, and as he took a deep breath, I readied myself for bad news.
Dad cleared his throat. ‘Your sister isn’t going to be coming home for Christmas this year,’ he started.
‘Why? You said she was OK.’
‘She is. Well, in a way. She’s—’ Dad choked on a sob and in a second I was there, throwing my arms around him, because I rarely saw my dad cry, and the last time was the Christmas Mum left. He cleared his throat again, trying to compose himself quickly. ‘Shay’s unwell, My, she’s realised she’s got a problem with alcohol.’
‘No, she doesn’t,’ I said, confused.
‘Apparently she does.’ Dad shrugged. ‘I didn’t know either. But that was her friend from uni on the phone, Helena, do you remember her?’
I nodded. ‘I think so.’
‘She said that she worked with Shay at that recruitment firm, but since she was let go, Helena’s been worried about her for a while.’
‘Wait, Shay was let go? When?’ But Shay was always talking about this amazing, flashy job and all the fancy dinners and parties she went to.
‘Back in the summer, Helena said.’ Dad rubbed at his forehead in the same way he’d done when on the phone. ‘And last night, when Helena got home from a night out, she found Shay on her doorstep, passed out. Alcohol poisoning.’
Oh, Shay. The thought of my headstrong, confident sister lying unconscious and helpless on the concrete was heartbreaking. ‘But a night of binge drinking doesn’t mean she has a problem with alcohol,’ I tried to justify.
‘According to Helena, Shay’s been trying to hide it from everyone, but Helena hasn’t seen her without a drink in her hand or on her breath in months.’
‘But Shay’s OK?’
‘She’s OK. She’s in hospital in London, Helena’s with her. Andwhen she woke up, Shay told Helena the reason she’d come to her house last night was because she was scared and wanted help. So … Shay’s going to be checking herself into a rehab facility later tonight.’
‘But tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, she wouldn’t want to miss this,’ I said, my voice small. Of course she should be going to rehab instead of being with us, but I couldn’t understand how all this had happened in her life and I didn’t know any of it. What kind of a sister was I?
I hated letting my sister down. I really hated it. And now I was going to do it again. I glanced at the clock on the wall, and took another shot.
CHRISTMAS 2016 ~ AGED TWENTY-FIVE
I’d never knowingly smelled frankincense before tonight, but Callie loved an essential oil so had rolled out the big dogs for her Christmas-slash-engagement party.
To try and make it through the party with a genuine smile on my face, I’d tried everything beforehand to calm my nervous energy: meditation, dancing in my bedroom, breathing exercises. I really wanted to be jolly-Myla tonight. I was so happy for Callie and her fiancé and I wanted to support them.
