Page 69 of A Winter in Wonderland
Chapter 32
Overthe following week, while December took its last stretch prior to New Year’s Eve, I had a spring in my step as if the snow was giving way to the flowers. It wasn’t, of course, it was thicker than ever. But with Christmas now officially back in its box for another year, I felt free, like I did every January.
It was like coming out of an anxiety episode, but one that always lasted a couple of months every year. Finally, I could see clearly again, and stop obsessing over the past, or, more accurately, stop trying to run away from the past. At least for another year.
Today I had the perfect day lined up. A morning at the reindeer farm – no specific tours, just being around to help and chat to visitors about the animals, which was always nice, followed by an evening on a snowmobile safari where we were going to be travelling for a while and then setting up a campfire and hoping to catch the Northern Lights.
Why was I excited about a snowmobile safari for a change? Well, two reasons …
1. Daan had recommended me to be included on this trip, following my Christmas Day family leaving the loveliest review on TripAdvisor. I’d been out on them once again since and I really felt like I’d settled into a confidence that I’d been missing before.
2. After my taster in the early hours of Christmas Day, I was beyond excited at the prospect of seeing the Northern Lights in all their glory.
It was a big group going out on the aurora safari today, so a few of us staff would be going. I didn’t know if Esteri would be one of them, but I hoped so. She might sleep talk, and tell my family awkward things, and shove her boobs in my face on the daily, but she had fast become my favourite person in Finland.
The elves, and I’m really talking about Josh here, if I’m honest, were still just as hard at work as the rest of us, and that wouldn’t let up just because the Big Day had now come and gone. Holidaymakers would still be arriving in Lapland in droves, certainly all through the remainder of the school holidays around the world, and then after for the great opportunities in Lapland for winter wonderland fun.
So what I’m saying is, I hadn’t seen Josh again since Christmas early in the morning. But perhaps I’d give him a knock when I got back tonight.
The reindeer were, as ever, wonderful. And it was a nicechange to not spend my time there nervously watching the clock because of the impending snowmobiling. Instead, later on, when the clocks turned to late afternoon, and the light dipped from the deep inky blue of astronomical twilight into the star-sprinkled black of night-time, I looked up and felt a shiver, both from the chill, and the excitement. I made my way back to the activities’ lodge to get ready for the tour, packing my bag with food and a big flask of hot berry juice, and hoped for the sake of the group that we saw the lights tonight. The forecast and that clear sky were looking good.
Josh had looked good, in close-up, under the Northern Lights …
And just as I was thinking about him, as if I’d manifested him, there he was. Crunching over the snow in the dark was Josh, kitted out in his padded suit and a helmet under his arm.
‘Hi,’ I spluttered, hoping my face didn’t betray what I’d been thinking. ‘Are you taking a tour out?’
‘Actually, I’m on your tour,’ he replied.
‘You’re coming to see the Northern Lights?’
‘I hope so.’
‘As an elf?’
‘It’s my day off, so I spoke to Daan and asked if I could tag along, as a volunteer. I checked, and all the guests tonight arrived today and leave tomorrow morning, so they won’t have seen me as an elf. Nor will they.’
I tilted my head at him. ‘Did Daan ask you to come in case I needed help again?’
‘No,’ he laughed. ‘Daan thinks you’re great, this is all me.’
I brushed some snow off a fence for no reason other than I needed my hands to do something. ‘Well, thank you, it’s always nice to have extra company.’
‘You don’t mind me coming?’
‘Of course not.’
Josh turned to fiddle with something on the snowmobile and I allowed myself to glance back towards him, wondering, hoping, feeling my heart open up for the first time in a long time.
Angelique appeared then, together with another guide and a group of guests. ‘All right, let’s get going! Who’s ready to see some Northern Lights?’
The guests let out collective cheers, and we climbed on our snowmobiles.
We drove in convoy, taking it slow because the dark made it much harder to see, though the moonlight and the lights of our skidoos provided some illumination. Beside me, phantom trees whooshed past, and the slice of the machine through the thick snow sounded oddly comforting.
The snowmobile moved through the wilderness. Again, it felt like the first time I was noticing the curves of the hills, the cold on my cheeks, the brightness of the Milky Way above our indigo surroundings.
Lapland – its colours, its snowbanks, its wildlife – was utterly breathtaking.
