Page 78 of The Wedding Pact
He looked down towards the river, his face hardened, his eyes searching for nothing in particular. ‘I don’t know what you’re trying to imply.’
‘Nothing,’ August lied. But she hadn’t been one to sugar-coat things with Flynn and wasn’t about to start now; that wasn’t the type of relationship they had. ‘I’m just questioning her motives, I guess.’
‘Her motives?’ Flynn cried. ‘As in, why is she with me?’
‘No, notwhyis she with you – there are a hundred million reasons why she would be with you because you’reyou– I just mean, what if she’s annoyed that we got the flat instead of her?’
‘If she was, then she must have got over it, because she’s not mentioned a thing to me.’
‘She seems … ’ August trailed off.
‘She seems what?’
‘Cold. Annoyed. I don’t know.’
Flynn looked miserable, like this November morning. ‘Perhaps she’s not exactly feeling the warmth from you.’
August was afraid she was floating downriver, without Flynn, making things worse rather than being the lifeboat. ‘I tried, Flynn, I’ll keep trying – I promise – and I don’t think I’ve been being weird around her, it’s just that now I know who she is I can’t help but worry.’
‘Worry about what?’ Flynn asked. He looked exhausted all of a sudden, and rubbed at his forehead like a headache was forming with a vengeance.
‘I think she knows about us.’
‘There is no “us”,’ Flynn snapped. ‘You … never mind.’
August felt cold, the chill in the breeze enveloping her now. She knew that, of course she knew that, but it still stung her pride, and her heart. She might not be part of an ‘us’ with him romantically, but she meantsomethingto him, didn’t she? She gritted her teeth. ‘I know, I’m just trying to speak to you as a friend. I think something is up.’
‘Is this just jealousy? Are you worried we’re not going to be able to play imaginary marriages anymore? Are you worried about your dream home? How about worrying about me and my happiness?’
‘Iamworried about you, that’s the point, it’s not about me,’ … Was it? No, she cared for Flynn, maybe even more than she cared about the house on Elizabeth Street, but that wasn’t the question right now.
He was silent for a while, looking forward, breathing hard. Then he said, his voice low and his eyes refusing to look at her, ‘I am trying my best to be happy. Trying my hardest to make a life for myself here, trying to find a reason why this wasn’t all one huge mistake. I’m trying to move on from a broken relationship.’ And then he added, almost inaudibly, ‘I’m also trying to respect you, and move on from whatever this dysfunctional mess is that we’ve got ourselves into.’
August couldn’t breathe for a moment. What did that mean? What was he saying? ‘Flynn?’
‘I need to think.’ He started to back away.
She caught him by the sleeve, pushing her own confusion aside. ‘I just don’t trust how she came into your life all of a sudden, never mentioned that she’d been inside our flat before, and seems really suspicious of me.’
‘Of course she’s suspicious of you,’ Flynn threw up his hands. ‘Look at you; you’re fun and pretty and you know me. The two of us get on in a way she and I are nowhere near to yet. Of course she’d be wary of you.’
August shook her head, getting annoyed back at him now for twisting this all around on her when she was only ever trying to be open with him. ‘Don’t put this down as some kind of clichéd female rivalry thing, like Poppy can’t handle you having a female friend.’
‘Maybe that’s not the question, then. Maybe it’s can you handle me having a girlfriend?’
She didn’t know what he wanted her to say. She withdrew her hand from him and stepped back, ready to take herself out of the picture. This was his problem to deal with however he wanted, she’d simply been the messenger. ‘Don’t youdaretry to make me look like I can’t handle you having a girlfriend. I’ve been nothing but welcoming towards Poppy, even though she’s been, frankly, an icy bitch around me. The only time I’ve faltered is when I realised that she might be playing you.’
‘What do you think she’s going to do?’
‘I don’t know!’ August had been raising her voice but she tried to lower it back down as another couple of joggers passed them by, serving them with a look. ‘I have no idea what she may or may not be cooking up, I don’t have the answers, I don’t even have a theory, I’m just telling you what I know.’
Flynn sighed, and not the happy, contented sigh she’d heard come out from him when he drank coffee on the wall outside in the morning sunshine, or when they’d shared a takeout pizza together, eating until their bellies were too full. He stared at her for the moment, and not with the soft, inquisitive stare that he’d treated her to before they’d kissed. This was all different, all wrong.
Eventually he spoke. ‘I think the problem is, you don’t really know anything.’
Flynn turned and took off in a gentle jog, as it started to drizzle. August waited until he was out of sight around the centuries-old abbey, and then set off herself, in the opposite direction.
Chapter 55
