Page 82 of The Wedding Pact
‘Does he know about us?’
‘No.’
There is no us, Flynn’s own words echoed back at him, and he could tell by the tiny frown that crossed her face that she was remembering them too.
‘Have you seen Poppy?’ August asked, walking around the sofa to face him.
‘Yes.’
‘And?’ August held her breath.
Flynn moved away from her and towards the sofa, where Abe had been, his mind full of the image of the two of them together. Once again, he felt the weight of his exhaustion. He was justexhausted. He put his face in his hands, sighing. ‘You were right, it’s over between me and Poppy.’
‘Oh, Flynn.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said, though it actually did. ‘She’s not going to tell Mrs Haverley. But perhaps you need to decide what you want to tell her son, if you’re thinking of getting involved with him.’
She bristled. ‘I told you, we’re just friends, and I don’t need your advice on what I should think about.’
‘You’re right,’ he said, the clouds fogging up his mind again in a way he hadn’t meant them to. ‘You don’t need my advice, and I don’t need this right now. I’m so tired, of work, of lying, of failed relationships, of having to look both ways every time I leave the house in case I need to concoct some new fabrication about us.’
‘I’m tired too,’ said August, raising her voice a touch. ‘You don’t think I want us to just live like normal flatmates? You don’t think I hate seeing you overworked and used? You don’t think I hate lying to everyone? I thought living here was the answer to all my problems, like it would be the start of something amazing, and I’m so gut-wrenchingly disappointed it’s not working, Flynn.’
It wasn’t working anymore. That was the truth of the matter, the only truth in all of this.
‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Poppy,’ August added.
‘It’s not just about Poppy. Or Abe.’ Flynn rubbed his face. ‘It’s everything.’ He took a moment. When had it got so bad? And how could he get out of this? His head was full of confusion over his feelings for August, annoyance about Poppy and that whole deceitful relationship, stress from work, and this marriage lie was just too much on top of everything else.
Sighing, August said, ‘I never forced you into this.’
‘I never said you did – you’re the only one who’s ever been fixated on that. But … ’ pausing, Flynn stood, and he looked hard at August. He took in her face, her everything, committed her to memory, along with all the thoughts of what might have been. Then he said, ‘I think we need some time apart.’
A tear fell onto August’s cheek. She swept it away quickly, her mouth set in a stiff line. She sighed, clearly frustrated with herself. ‘I never thought I’d cry in this house, and now I am. Because of you.’
‘Good,’ he said.
‘Good?’
‘Yes, good. Because if you’re crying, you’re living, you’re feeling something and it’s real. Ever since we moved in here it’s been such an endless masquerade ball that I often don’t even know when you’re being the real you.’
‘I’ve always been me around you,’ August stated.
‘Have you?’
She took a deep breath, and then crossed the room to him, slowly, with her eyes locked on his. When she reached him she took a moment as if she, too, were capturing his image. Then she nodded, just once, and put her arms around him, though he was damp from the rain. They held onto each other for a moment, the rope holding them together on its last threads.
Chapter 58
August
As August had always done, when she had big life decisions to make, she sat on the wall in front of what was now her home. Wrapped in warm clothing to shield her from the late November frost, she tried to use the breathing exercises from her yoga class to focus on what she needed to think about, one thing at a time: how to fix her friendship with Flynn, her tangled feelings for Abe, her need to come clean, especially to Callie, dear Callie, oh and the small matter of her career, which she kept pushing aside.
She and Flynn had barely spoken since their showdown, so she didn’t know quite what he was thinking in relation to them having time apart. He seemed so busy with work that to be honest, she barely saw him anyway.
‘Hello, August,’ came a female voice. Welcoming the interruption, August opened her eyes to see Mrs Haverley.
‘Hello,’ she replied. ‘It’s a bit cold out here, isn’t it, Mrs Haverley. Is everything okay?’
