Page 24 of A Season in the Snow
Chapter 12
When Monday came, and her parents had gone home, and she was back from Bear’s morning walk, Alice made the decision to try and get back into work. She wasn’t going to go into central London and attempt to work from theFunny Packoffice. Instead she got out all of her art supplies and lined them up neatly on her desk. Then she refilled Bear’s water and made a cup of tea. Then she had a quick shower. Then she sat down and got up again to load some washing.
There was a barrier up between her and her artwork. Her pen hovered over the paper and refused to make contact. Illustration usually came easy to her, but now it seemed like the hardest thing to climb out of her own head and enter the world of imagination that creativity needed. Alice just couldn’t summon the optimism she usually painted onto the page. She couldn’t create the humorous take on the world around her because she couldn’t see the funny in it any more.
‘Come on,’ she whispered to the page. ‘Come on.’
She knew before she even got to this stage that it had gone. Her passions had evaporated and she didn’t know if they’d ever come back. Alice sat for a long time thinking about this, and eventually picked up the phone to call theFunny Packoffice.
She told them she needed more time out, even more than they’d already generously allowed her, and wouldn’t be coming back in for a while. She asked them to work with another freelancer until further notice. She politely declined their offer to send her ideas, and compromised by saying she’d dig out some of her back stock and sell it to them if they were interested. When she hung up she was exhausted and turned to Bear, but he wasn’t there. Rising from her seat, she followed the sound of snuffling, only to find him ripping one of her books to pieces in the next room.
‘What are you doing that for?’ she cried, wrangling the book away from him. ‘Can I not take my eyes off you for a second?’
Alice went back to her desk and pulled out a large folder where she kept finished cartoons that, for a variety of reasons, she hadn’t sold yet. She photographed them one by one to send over toFunny Pack.
Bear watched her. ‘I always liked this one a lot,’ she said, picking up one of the women dressed in superhero costumes. ‘I guess I was waiting for the right circumstance to submit it. Now is the right circumstance, because otherwise we’ll be on the street.’
It wasn’t quite true. Alice had savings she wasn’t planning on using on anything else now that her European adventure had evaporated, and her parents would always help her with rent if she asked, but she didn’t like to take the risk of anything running out, and there were enough pictures here that, if they all sold at the usualFunny Packpricing, could tide her over, at least for a while.
And now she could climb back into bed for the day.
Alice was getting lethargic. She knew it while she was walking the dog; she knew it from the sluggish feeling she got as the day went on; and she knew it from the state of her skin. Her body craved a good workout and some healthy food and water, but everything just seemed too much effort, especially since using her leg still smarted a little. It was easier to stay in and hide herself away.
Her muscles really showed weakness one afternoon, two and a half weeks into having Bear live with her, when he was off the lead, tearing around an enclosed part of the park while nobody else was in there, and he stumbled, tumbling down a bank, and yelped. Alice ran over to him where he hobbled in circles, whining.
‘Stop moving, stop moving, puppy, let me see.’ He leaned into her, his front left paw aloft.
Alice held it gently, looking for cuts or broken claws but there were none. ‘I think you must have sprained it, if that’s something dogs can do,’ she said. ‘You poor thing. Let’s take you home.’
She stood, and Bear tried to follow, but he yelped and sat down again. It started to rain.
Alice could carry twenty kilograms of dog home. It was a five-minute walk from here, maximum, and she used to be able to hold ten kilos on each side during the squat track at Body Pump. She scooped him up, grunting, while she straightened her legs.
Of course her body pump weights hadn’t lolled about or tried to lick her face. They hadn’t wriggled or tried to grab at leaves on trees with their mouth as they passed. There was also a reason she hadn’t been doing twenty kilograms on the biceps track, because it was much, much harder, as she was finding out.
‘Ohmygod,’ she rasped, and had to pop him on the ground for the third time to shake out her arms, which were burning. The rain spattered in her eyes, but she could see her flat in sight at the end of the road. Bear sat next to her on the wet road, his paw still raised. ‘Well, we can’t just stay here. Come on.’ She lifted him again and staggered the final distance, collapsing onto her hallway floor and releasing Bear who slunk straight to his bed for a grumpy snooze.
Alice looked at her phone to see a missed call from Bahira. She called back, still catching her breath.
‘Hey, are you okay?’ Bahira asked down the line.
‘Is owning a puppy always this hard?’ Alice answered.
‘What did he do?’
‘Fell over and hurt a paw; I just carried him home. He’s also destroyed a book, chewed my furniture, had to be taken to the vet’s after eating a box of brownies and won’t leave me alone even for a minute, unless he’s off doing something he shouldn’t be.’
Bahira chuckled. ‘Sounds about right, I’m afraid. It will get easier, but not for a while. He’s still learning his boundaries with you, and when he’s learnt them he’ll forget them all because by then he’ll be a teenage pup.’
‘Brilliant.’
‘Look into puppy training, especially if he seems bored. I didn’t know how much I needed it with our dog until we did it. And it’s a nice thing for you both to do together, you know, out of the house . . . ’
‘Good idea,’ Alice concurred.
‘I was just calling to see how things were going. Shall I come over?’
‘No, it’s okay,’ Alice said quickly, feeling that twist of guilt again in her stomach. She breathed in, willing the fear and speculation to float away. ‘But how are you? How are you feeling?’
