Page 16 of A Season in the Snow
Alice crouched down and Bear nuzzled his head into her chest, his spindly tail still causing a tidal wave on the other side of the world. ‘Hi, Bear, hi, do you want to come home with me?’
He leaned right into her face, his nostrils sniffing, and licked her nose.
‘Is that a yes? We can keep each other company.’ The three of them watched Bear as he stepped back from Alice and peered around her. He was still smiling, his tail was still wagging, but he seemed to be searching for the missing puzzle piece, and Alice knew what it was. ‘She’s not with me, I’m sorry.’
‘Oh, honey,’ Liz said, her heart breaking for her daughter.
‘Why don’t you both come in? It’s cold out here,’ said Sam. He seemed grown up beyond his years now, with a seriousness to his voice that Alice didn’t recognise.
Inside the hallway, Bear continued to look towards the door, as if he couldn’t understand why Alice was here without Jill. And in all honesty, she still hadn’t wrapped her head around it either.
Alice felt like a coward, but she stayed near the puppy, talking softly to him and keeping her eyes on him, while her mum spoke with Jill’s family and followed them through the house gathering up Bear’s belongings. It was only when all the bags were by the door, ready to be carried back down the driveway to Liz’s car, that Alice stood and faced Jill’s parents.
‘I’m really sorry,’ she said, her whole heart in those three words.
Jill’s mum nodded. ‘So are we.’
‘I’m . . . sorry,’ she repeated.
‘It’s not your fault,’ Jill’s mum said, and pulled her into a hug, though it didn’t feel the same as it used to. It felt more guarded. Did they know? Did they know that she’d been pleased when Jill had said she didn’t want to lose their spots to get more water? Did they know that their daughter’s supposed best friend put a good view at a concert over Jill’s life?
‘You’ve been such a good friend to Jill,’ Jill’s mum said, pulling back and revealing eyes that were pink and full of sorrow.
‘She was the best friend in the whole world,’ Alice whispered back. She took a breath and stepped backwards towards the door before the bile rose again. ‘Please visit him whenever you want,’ she said, the words sounding stiff in her own ears. ‘Or I can bring him to you.’
Jill’s mum nodded. ‘Maybe sometime.’
She and Sam said goodbye to the puppy, Sam pushing his face into his fur for a long moment. Then Alice and Liz left, Alice holding Bear’s lead, his bed and as many bags as she could manage, and Liz carrying the rest. Alice had refused any extra help, and Bear trotted down the driveway without looking back.
‘Do you think he thinks we’re taking him back to Jill?’ Alice asked her mum.
‘I think he’s just a daft puppy looking forward to heading out on an adventure,’ Liz answered.
The amount of stuff that Jill’s parents had given her had filled the boot and the back seat of Liz’s car, and then Bahira’s car later that morning. On the journey back to London, Alice held Bear tightly on her lap, on red alert for anything that could cause her precious cargo – Jill’s beloved puppy – any harm.
‘How are you, B?’ Alice asked her friend when Bear had stopped wriggling and dozed off.
‘Good question,’ Bahira answered, her eyes on the road. ‘Very sad, quite pissed off and probably will have an enormous cry tonight when I get home, and everyone’s in bed, and I let it all sink in.’
Alice nodded. She admired Bahira’s strength and maturity and she nearly let the words all tumble out of her and admit how responsible she felt. But she’d lost a friend already, and the shameful, selfish part of her didn’t want to risk losing another.
So instead she said, ‘Call me if you need anything, won’t you?’ to which Bahira glanced away from the road quickly to give her a smile.
