Page 71 of A Season in the Snow
‘Well,’ he said, still holding her hands firmly in his, thawing them out. ‘If we were up a mountain I would actually be wrapping you up in a tight bundle and putting heat pads under your jacket. But I think that is more third date territory for us, yes?’
Alice knew he was joking, he was just being kind, funny Marco, but huddled in their little car with only the noise of the engine running and snow framing the glass on all sides of them, she felt like she already was wrapped in a bundle with him. And she liked it.
But they should get going. She broke free and put the Airbnb address into the satnav. ‘I hope you’re wearing a lot of layers, because we can’t keep the car too hot or this one will start whining.’ As it was, Bear was already snoozing, stretched out on the back seat, happy to be with company.
‘I will be just fine. I’m very happy to be chauffeur driven all the way to Zurich! I have brought car snacks.’ He pulled out some cookies and a flask of coffee that she could already smell. ‘And a car playlist, if that’s okay?’
‘What’s on the playlist?’ Alice pictured some obscure Euro-rock filling her car for two hours, but Marco plugged in his phone and out of the speakers came the soft, warming sounds of the Rat Pack singing Christmas classics.
‘This is nice,’ she said, driving out of the car park into the snow-lined lanes, settling back and enjoying the feel of independence that came with being on the road, combined with the solidarity of company.
‘I really like this album,’ Marco replied, tapping away on his leg.
Alice nodded, and even Bear stuck his nose between the seats and sighed with comfort.
‘Did you always want a dog, before you took him on?’ asked Marco.
‘No.’ Alice laughed. ‘I actually distinctly remember thinking Jill was mad getting a puppy. I thought he would take over her whole life . . . ’ She paused, not meaning it to sound so poignant. ‘But he did, in the best way. She only had him a month but she loved him so much already. He was all she spoke about; her phone was filled with photos of him. And now I’m the same!’ Alice’s pre-Bear existence seemed so distant now.
‘Was it hard, having a dog this big while you lived in the city? Because I remember even as young puppies how chunky they are.’
‘Well, Jill lived further out of London than me, and she had a big house and garden, so for her space had never been an issue. For me, I lived in a tiny flat which felt more tiny the bigger he got. Have you seenAlice in Wonderland, the Disney version?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe. I think so, when I was small.’
‘There’s a scene where Alice starts growing and growing and fills every room of the house to the point her arms and legs are poking out of windows and her head through the roof. Bear was kind of like that.’
‘Filling up your whole life,’ suggested Marco.
Right when it was feeling kind of empty. ‘Plus the walking routes were limited where I lived. So yes, it was hard, hence why I moved here.’
‘I never asked – what made you pick Switzerland over just, you know, the English countryside?’
It was such a big question that Alice didn’t quite know where to start, so she started with where Bear had started. ‘Jill always wanted a Bernese. She said they had expressive eyebrows, and she liked that in a person, she thought it showed soul.’ Alice chuckled at the memory. ‘So even before we picked him up she was researching everything about his home country, planning to bring him here on holiday, so excited about the future with her new pal. When everything happened and I took him in, going away on a trip was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to stay indoors and sheltered, then it felt like I had control.’
‘That makes sense,’ said Marco. ‘With a holiday there’s the expectation that you will be having the best time every minute of the day.’
‘Exactly. But, as you said, he got bigger, I got . . . to be honest . . . grosser, and it was time for a big change. I was only going to come on a short holiday and tie it in with seeing Vanessa, but then, well, you know the rest.’
They were silent for a while, the road gliding under the shade of the mountains, the sky a bright blue overhead. And then Alice added, ‘To Bear, she was everything, and she was taken from him. So I want to make sure I’m doing what she would have wanted – giving him the best life I can. I know, I know, he’s just a dog, but he washerdog.’
‘You’re doing a great job, he seems very happy.’ Marco leaned his arm back to stroke Bear’s nose, who caught his sleeve in his mouth and held on tightly, even as he started to close his eyes to sleep again.
‘Thanks,’ said Alice. ‘I hope he’s happy. I don’t think I’m great company for him a lot of the time. But we’re trying, aren’t we, mister?’ She glanced back at the daft doggo.
As Frank Sinatra’s smooth voice started singing ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’, Marco left her alone to her thoughts for a while. She thought of Jill and how happy she would probably be seeing Bear out here enjoying the snow. This little Bear, who didn’t know what was going on or why Jill had left, but he did seem happy, and that was the best Christmas gift she could give to her best friend now.
‘You’re a good listener, you know,’ she said to Marco, reaching out to touch his arm, briefly, wanting contact. He beamed. ‘You’re quite similar to Bear.’
‘I am honoured!’
‘You just . . . my parents, mine and Jill’s other friends, even Vanessa are a little too close to everything. I’m not okay yet, that feels like alongway off, but you just listen and don’t . . . I don’t know . . . ’ She trailed off, not really sure what she was trying to say.
‘Have you spoken to anyone, like a professional, if you don’t mind me asking?’
‘No,’ she said quickly. ‘No. I know everyone says I should but I just can’t yet. You may have noticed, I’ve firmly got my head in the sand, or the snow, at the moment.’
‘What do you mean?’
