Page 29 of A Season in the Snow
‘Oh. Well, come in?’ Alice opened the door wider, excruciatingly aware of her dog-walking clothes (which really were now just her ‘clothes’), her messy hair, her lack of make-up.
‘Holy mackerel!’ Theresa exclaimed on entering the corridor. ‘Alice, put the light on, this puppy can’t be as big as I think he is.’
‘Sorry, it is a little dark in here.’ Alice shuffled past them to flick on the hall light, then led them into the living room and threw some empty crisp packets in the nearest bin. She gathered up a few used mugs and glasses.
‘Mind if I open the curtains?’ Kemi asked, carefully.
‘Of course,’ Alice replied, keeping her eyes on the mugs in her hand. ‘It just keeps the flat cooler for Bear if the curtains are closed, that’s all.’
‘Oh, sure,’ Kemi said, but Alice caught her glance at Bahira.
‘I can’t believe you all came over here. It’s Saturday. Don’t you take Zara swimming on a Saturday, Bahira? And Kem, you’re training for that half marathon next weekend, aren’t you?’
‘You remembered!’ grinned Kemi.
‘Sorry I don’t reply much in the group WhatsApp. I do lurk there, though, and keep up with the conversation.’
‘I can run tomorrow.’ Kemi waved her hand, dismissing both her training, but also Alice’s embarrassment at dropping out of touch. ‘Now, let’s have a cuppa.’
‘Ooh, I’d love a cuppa,’ said Theresa, who was snuggling into Bear, much to his delight.
Alice glanced at the clock. ‘Did you guys want lunch or anything?’
‘Sure,’ replied Bahira. ‘What do you have?’
Alice walked them all to her boxy little kitchen, Bear scrambling to be first, and she ran her fingers through his fur like a comfort blanket. ‘I have crisps, fish fingers, some frozen pizzas, potato waffles . . . All the beige food you could want,’ she joked.
‘Pizza sounds good to me,’ Theresa said. ‘We brought a load of goodies as well.’ She opened one of the plastic bags they were carrying and dumped a load of fruit and vegetables on to the side. What an odd gift to bring over. ‘I’ll make a side salad.’
‘How long can you stay for?’ Alice asked.
Bahira faced her. ‘The rest of the day. Your mum didn’t think you’d have any plans, and we never see you any more.’
‘You spoke to my mum?’
‘Who do you think suggested we bring vegetables?’ Bahira picked up a red pepper and waved it in the air.
‘Okay,’ Alice said, feeling a little helpless in her own home. ‘I’m just going to get changed. Back in a minute.’
She left the three of them in her kitchen and raced to her bedroom. Bear loyally followed her in and she shut the door behind them both, holding back the tears that were forming, though she didn’t know why. Was she happy they were there? Worried about what they’d say? Sad to be having to put on a show? Or just a little overwhelmed?
Alice walked back out of her room, deflated. She hadn’t changed, she didn’t have the strength to put a mask on. Bear stayed close by her side.
Theresa looked up from the salad, and Bahira and Kemi turned. Alice opened her mouth but no words came out.
Bahira stepped forward first and wrapped her arms around Alice, closely followed by Kemi and Theresa.
‘I’m just having a bad day,’ Alice whispered.
‘We know,’ said Bahira.
‘Do you ever, since it happened, just feel like you’ll never be back to you ever again?’
They all agreed, every one of them, and then they stood like that for a long while, until Bear pushed his nose in between their legs.
Theresa laughed, betraying a sniffle. ‘You’re doing a good job raising this big handsome man. Jill would be really happy.’
‘Please look after yourself, though,’ Bahira said softly into Alice’s ear. ‘You’re a shadow at the moment.’
