Page 65 of Saltwater Memories
Chapter 23
After skipping work on Monday, Amanda fell behind at work. It was predictable, and she reasoned that that was why she felt tired all week, but something else was bugging her, too. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she felt…off.
Rupert had noticed and bought her a scone on Friday to cheer her up. It was nice of him, but also made her realize she must’ve really been sulking if even Rupert took note.
She didn’t feel like she had a moment to herself until the weekend. For once, she didn’t have to wait around wondering if Rupert was going to visit. He’d already made up an excuse as to why he couldn’t come, and she didn’t ask questions. He clearly hadn’t enjoyed his first visit, and she didn’t expect him to come again soon.
It was embarrassing for them both that he had to pretend to have an excuse – in the future, she’d tell him that there was no expectation on him, and that he didn’t need to worry about making something up. She could handle the truth – he didn’t like the island. Oh well.
That Sunday began, like many before it, with Morgan’s voice rousing her from sleep. Amanda opened her eyes when she heard Morgan’s screams from the front door.
Amanda awoke and, shuffling like a zombie, went to see what the commotion was. She found Morgan halfway outside, yelling after a family of deer.
“Get out of here, you hoofed assassins! You arenotwelcome!”
Amanda rubbed her eyes, standing behind her. “Fighting with the woodland creatures again?”
“Only because they eateverythingthat isn’t nailed down!” Morgan waved her hands menacingly.
The deer stared at her, unmoved.
Amanda put a hand on her shoulder. “How about you come back inside.”
She glared a bit too long before responding, “Fine.”
Once the door was shut, Amanda got the full story. Morgan had gotten an azalea from Luke as a gift before he’d left. She was worried that it wasn’t getting enough sunlight, so yesterday, she made the decision to give it an outdoor trip. Unfortunately, she forgot to bring it in overnight, much to the deer’s delight.
“There’s nothing left,” Morgan said, pointing at the ravaged flower pot.
“I’m sorry, I know that you miss Luke.”
“Miss him?” Morgan laughed. “It’s not about that! Luke is going to make fun of meso bad.The deer ate theonething that he told me to take care of until he came back!”
“Oh. Right.” Amanda tried not to laugh. “Well, I know it’s not the same, but let me get you another one. Luke won’t know the difference.”
It was a good excuse to get herself out of the house. She knew of a farm in the middle of the island – it was a large property with greenhouses, a nursery, orchards, and rolling lavender fields. Her mom used to be friends with the owners, Sue and Paul. They were a lovely couple who’d lived on the island for years, and sold fruit from the orchards at the farmer’s market. When her mom passed away, Sue and Paul came to the funeral with the most beautiful and elaborate flower arrangement that Amanda had ever seen.
That day had been a blur to her, but their kindness shined through. Amanda felt guilty that she hadn’t been over to see them since.
She pulled out her computer and checked the website – it looked like the farm was alive and well, and Sue and Paul were still in charge. They had Sunday hours and invited people to browse the plants and walk the gardens.
That would be perfect. Amanda would replace Morgan’s plant and say hello to some old friends.
Yet as she was getting ready, she started to feel more and more nostalgic. Her mom had loved gardening, and had kept the landscaping around their house in much better shape than it was now. She’d be disappointed to see its current state.
A memory floated in and Amanda laughed to herself – one time when she got into a fight with her mom during high school, she was forced to go to the nursery and pick up flowers for a new backyard bed. She then had to weed the garden and plant the flowers, but in an act of spiteful teenage behavior, she purposely didn’t plant the roots deep enough.
Somehow it didn’t matter, and they bloomed marvelously. She remembered it like it was yesterday, walking up and down the greenhouse with her mom, arms crossed, and not speaking. They’d gotten into the fight because Amanda was out past curfew, and after she was caught, a screaming match began. Amanda remembered her mom telling her that she was being an ungrateful brat.
Ha. Not untrue.
They hadn’t always gotten along in those years. In fact, there was a lot of yelling. It made Amanda cringe now to think of it. After she went off to college, their relationship substantially improved. But Amanda had been a difficult teenager; she could see that now.Howhad her mom put up with her?
Worse, how could Amanda have taken her mom for granted like that? Why did she assume that they would have forever to make up?
For some reason, it was really on her mind today. She expected to feel this way on anniversaries – her mom’s birthday, the day of her mom’s death – things like that. Mother’s Day was never easy, but the other days never hit her as hard as she expected.
It seemed that grief didn’t play by any rules. On random days, memories rolled in like dark clouds, disturbing the peace with bouts of wind, rain and hail, all along with periodic flashes of sun. Grief was exhausting.
