Page 19 of Saltwater Memories
Chapter 7
After her experience being caught in the downpour, Amanda had little interest in working in the office unless absolutely necessary. She initially debated telling Rupert that she was free for lunch any day, but decided to suggest that they instead change it to dinner so that she could avoid the office entirely.
Not wanting to sound too eager, she agreed to his suggestion for Thursday – though she wished it were sooner. She then spent the next few days fretting over every thought floating through her head.
Did he transfer to Seattle because he wanted to rekindle their relationship? Was he seeing someone else, or was he still in love with her? Was he having the same repeating dreams that she was having? Importantly, had she gained weight since he’d seen her last?
That was an awkward one. It’d been hard to stay active when she was wasting time driving to and from Seattle. Plus she’d never gotten around to renewing that gym membership…
Nothing she could do about it with such short notice, though. But why hadn’t she thought to get a haircut in the last few months? It looked wild, haggard even.
She was able to rectify that, at least, by going in for a quick haircut on Monday. It ended up a little too short, but it looked cleaner.
The other problem was her wardrobe. She hadn’t updated itat allsince moving back to the US. Jade offered to let her borrow something, but Jade was much taller than she was – long and lean. Amanda was more…short and stout? She wasn’t short, exactly; her dad just said that she was “compact.”
He meant it as a compliment, because he was compact, too. She was always muscular, always stronger than the other girls growing up; it helped her in her soccer days. But it didn’t help her feel feminine, and she struggled with it for years.
That was in the past, though. Mostly. She’d already wasted too much of her life trying, in vain, to look like someone else.
After her mom died, she realized how silly it all was – how little it all mattered. How could she waste so much precious time in her life worrying about something as meaningless as the shape of her body? It was something she had very little control over, besides losing a few pounds to be in the healthy range.
When she’d moved to London after her mom’s passing, she began cautiously embracing her muscular build and wearing clothes that suited her better. Rupert liked her then, why shouldn’t he like her again?
Luckily for her, Morgan, who was closer to her size, had a pile of new clothes that she was excited to share.
“Ooh, how about this sweater with this sparkly skirt?” she said, holding up the combination on herself.
Amanda frowned. “I don’t think I want to do sparkly.”
“True, no need to go big on the first date.” She pulled out a bright pink top. “What about this? Too much?”
Amanda pulled the shirt on, studying herself in the mirror. “Is it supposed to be this tight?”
“Uh, I don’t know, but I think it’s working for you!”
Amanda laughed. “No, this won’t be good. He’ll be able to see my heart beating against my rib cage.”
“Okay, fine. I have a dress? All black, might be a bit chilly but…” She dug around in her closet before finding it.
Amanda stared at it. It had long sleeves and looked like it’d hit her right at the knee. “This…could work for me!”
“Good. But after this, I need to take you shopping. No excuses.”
Amanda laughed. “But I’ve been having so much fun wearing all of the clothes my boss hates.”
“Hold up – what? You use your wardrobe to annoy your boss?”
She let out a sigh. “Yep.”
Amanda knew it was a strange thing to do, but her boss Erica was a strange person. She tried to explain it to Morgan as best she could. Though not a fashionista, Amanda thought that she was pretty good at dressing herself at this point – but Erica disagreed.
Whenever Amanda was in the office, Erica would give her a quick up and down to check out her outfit. Sometimes she’d make a comment right away; other times, the rude comments would filter in throughout the day.
Amanda didn’t mind the barbs – she was thick-skinned. She knew what she looked like. And she knew that it sometimes looked like she got dressed in the dark – because she was getting dressed in the dark!
Often, Erica would say something like, “Did Goodwill have a going out of business sale?” or “I didn’t know that it was wear-your-grandma’s-sweater-to-work day.”
Amanda always laughed it off. It was actually amusing to hear how much her outfits bothered Erica; any time that she received one of these insults, she’d look at her outfit and make a mental note to wear it again.
