Page 14 of Saltwater Memories
Amanda set her sandwich down. “No. Well – she never wanted to leave.”
“Oh. Does she live here part time, like you?”
Why was she being so awkward about this? “No. She passed away, actually.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
That’s why she was being awkward. She didn’t want to hear his condolences. She knew that he didn’t mean them. How could he? How could he know what it was like to come back to this island, to see her everywhere and yet have the memory of her mom slipping through her fingers?
“It’s okay. It’s been a while.” Another lie. Somehow time didn’t seem to be helping much. She needed to change the subject. “I do think that most people who grew up here have a hard time leaving for good. I don’t think that I appreciated the beauty of the island until I lived somewhere else, though.”
“Yeah, I grew up in the eastern part of the state. Really small town, rural. It’s very different over here.”
“It is.”
“Did you go to school locally?”
Why was he acting like he wanted to get to know her? All he cared about was her property. As he’d said, time is money. But he was good at pretending to be interested in her – a good salesman. “No, I’d wanted something different for school. I got a scholarship to Penn State, and spent my time on the East Coast.”
“Ah. Nice. I think that being so well-traveled only makes you a better judge of what’s valuable here on the island.”
Valuable – what a word! She could only tell him what was valuable if they valued the same things. And they didn’t! “Sure.”
“I went to Washington State,” he said. “To be honest, I’ve barely left Washington for most of my life. I did work in the New York City branch for a few years, and that was a big change.”
She reminded herself that she needed to be somewhat friendly. “Oh, I bet. Living in London was a huge change for me as well.”
“Do you miss it sometimes?”
What was with these questions? Of course she missed it. And at the same time, she didn’t. Who was he to ask her this stuff?
Maybe she just missed her ex, Rupert? Or maybe she missed the bakeries where she could sit, undisturbed, compiling an album of pictures of her mom. That was what she did in the early days – she’d just linger, completely alone, but surrounded by people. And she’d tell Rupert all about her mom, the woman he’d never get to meet, and he’d say things like, “You’re strong like her,” or “I can see her in your smile.”
It’d been eight weeks since she last tried to contact him, and he’d mostly blown her off. Her heart felt literally weighed down in her chest; it’d been months since they broke up. Would it ever get any easier?
“Yeah, there are things I miss.”
“You’re more generous than I am, then,” he said. “There are a lot of cool things about New York City. Everyone knows that. All of the movies are made about New York – it’s always with these people who fall in love with the city, and they say it becomes part of them and yadda yadda.”
“And that didn’t happen for you?”
“No. Not at all. I felt like a subway rat half the time. Like anactualsix foot tall rat, dragging an entire pizza down the platform with its teeth.”
Amanda laughed. “That is…horribly evocative.”
“That was my level of desperation. It was my fault, though. I lived on Long Island and our office was in Manhattan. The commute wasn’t terrible, but I worked all the time so…I probably didn’t get as much out of it as I could’ve.”
She nodded. Did he talk to all of his clients this way? No wonder Lenny liked him – he seemed down to earth. He was well practiced.
He kept talking. “The thing about New York City is that it’s a really great time –ifyou have money. If you don’t, well, get ready to drag a New York slice with your teeth.”
Amanda almost choked on her soda. She didn’t want to admit it, but rehearsed or not, the guy was funny.
“Plus, I always had a dog growing up, and I couldn’t keep one in college, but I thought that once I had a job I could get one. But it’s really hard to have a dog in New York City – have you ever been there?”
She nodded. “I have.”
“There’s not a ton of grass. That sounds stupid but it’s a real problem. And again, if you work all the time…well, you need to hire a dog walker, and then you need a car because how do you get them anywhere?”
