Page 23 of Swiped
“So exactly how many people are in this relationship hydra?” Rami wiggled his fingers in the air as if to materialize a pen and paper. “Have you ever diagrammed it out?”
“We have a Miro board.”
Rami grunted with a knowing frown. “Well, you’d have to.” He drummed the stands of tickets against his chin as his mind raced ahead. “I mean, the scheduling alone produces a lot of data streams, not to mention controlling for the potentially calamitous overlap between social circles, and tracking sexual encounters for health records . . .” He trailed off, lost in the numbers already whizzing around his head.
Lynn tossed her long blonde hair and hooked her hand on the curve of her hip. “We think of it like swimming into deep waters — you don’t know how far it goes, or how many people it’s touched, only that it’s nourishing you right now.”
Rami absently twisted one of his curls. “Sure, it’s water, but maybe put a few drops into a Petri dish and take a look every so often, right?”
Lynn’s face drooped with a sad smile. “I take it this isn’t your thing?”
“I’m sorry,” he said, dropping his hands and facing her. “It’s really, really not.”
Lynn winced and covered her eyes. “Shit. Now you hate me.”
“No, no!” Rami resisted the impulse to hug her as she shifted her weight in the classic pose of wishing to vanish into thin air. It was a pose he knew well. “But maybe you could have told me this before our date?”
A blush crept into her pale cheeks. “Yeah, I know. It’s in my BeTwoprofile, all spelled out.” She shrugged at him, eyes full of regret. “It just felt way more awkward to say it in person.”
Rami sighed. “Right. It’s all online.” His stomach sank with a different feeling now as he remembered Nat, her damned app, and their wager. Which he was now, it seemed, officially losing.
They both went quiet and watched the couples around them, all jamming arcade buttons, jumping for excitement in the whirring machine lights, and sneaking kisses between waterfalls of tickets.
Lynn pulled her purse in front of her body. “So, do you want me to pay you back for the beer?”
Rami shook his head. “No way, forget it.” He ripped off a few of the tickets. “But I’m gonna take some of these because there’s some pretty good candy over in the prize booth.” He handed her the rest of the bundle with a quick nod. “Nice to meet you, Lynn.”
She took the tickets and bit her lip. “Hug before I lose you forever?”
Rami whirled around. “Really?”
“Are you serious?” She winked at him. “You’re a total babe.”
The unfamiliar words hit him with a wash of confusion. And suddenly her arms were around him and her soft body was pressed against him and she planted a tender kiss on his cheek. His stomach flipped again for another entirely new reason. He froze, watching as she slid away with a flirty wave and wandered into the people milling about the arcade.
He was a babe. It had never occurred to him. He shook the stars from his mind and made his way to the prize booth to try and find some sour gummies.
Like a babe.
* * *
Nat drained her second drink as Eric hunched over the plate of truffle fries. He was stuffing them three at a time into his mouth and speaking between bites.
“Anyway, it turns out so much of my relationship shit is because of my trauma, and unlocking that was huge for me.” He ate some fries. “Huge.”
Nat nodded. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d uttered a word. But she didn’t know what she’d say even if Eric gave her an opening. It was painfully clear that they had nothingin common, and that even if they did, Nat would happily pretend that they didn’t.
“I mean, I’ve been shopping for therapists for ten years and finally had a life-changing session yesterday.” He grabbed some more fries. “Like, I haven’t checked my ex’s Insta at all today. Not once!”
It seemed like he wanted a reaction, and instinct kicked in as Nat said, “Oh, that’s great!”
He nodded, taking the cue to continue. “Yeah, and she’s swimming with pigs in the Bahamas right now.”
Nat squinted. “Like, pig-pigs? Curly tails, oink?”
Eric peered sadly into the pink dregs of his drink. “Little floating porkers, yeah.”
“Wow! Sounds . . . fun?” Nat considered the image. “I’ve always been a little scared of the ocean, but what shark would eat a human when there’s fresh bacon nearby?”
