Page 65 of Cinematic Destinies
“You did everything you could,” he assured her. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He pulled her close in a comforting embrace, rubbing her back.
For a moment, she leaned into it. Then she looked up into his eyes and said, “It was so awful. Kate was hysterical, begging us to save her baby. I’ll never forget the look on her face as all her dreams evaporated.” She paused. “This must have been my fault. If I had only caught it earlier, then . . .”
“No, Betty. Don’t do that to yourself. She had excellent care. You were on top of her pregnancy from day one. Sometimes these things just happen, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. There weren’t any warning signs.”
“Maybe I got too attached to her, liked her too much, lost my focus,” she said.
“That’s not true. Caring about your patients makes you a better doctor.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything,” she mumbled, visibly holding back tears.
“You’ve got to let it out. Feel this. It’s the only way through it,” he said, stroking her cheek. “Let it out.”
“I can’t,” she insisted, taking a deep breath. “I can’t allow myself to feel it.”
“Betty. You already do,” he whispered.
She pulled back. “I’ll be fine.” She walked over to her locker and took out her belongings, placing her street clothes, bag, and cell phone on the bench. “I’m just gonna go home and take a hot bath and try to forget today ever happened.”
Khalil walked over to her and gently said, “Look at me.” She turned to face him, and he wrapped his arms around her. “Please, you’ve got to let it out. It’s okay. It’s okay to feel.”
“I can’t,” she said, and shook her head as she began to tear up.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” he said, caressing her hair.
She burst into tears.
“That’s it,” he whispered. “Just feel it.”
Betty sobbed uncontrollably, crying and heaving against his chest as she tried to breathe. He held her as the tears continued to flow through a stream of howls that sounded like a wounded animal, her body violently shaking. After what felt like an eternity, she pulled back, grabbed the tissue box off the table, and wiped her face. “I’m sorry for crying on your shoulder.”
“Betty, I love you. God, I love you.”
“Damn it, Khalil, don’t you see?” she shrieked. “There are no fucking happy endings! Love hurts! It’s filled with pain! People have nothing to gain and everything to lose.”
“You don’t really believe that. Naturally, you’re upset. I’m here for you. Always. Lean on me and—”
“Please just go. I want to be alone.”
“But . . .”
She turned her back to him. “Go. Please.”
He sighed and said, “If you change your mind, let me know.” He left the room, closing the door behind him.
Betty collapsed onto a chair, her knees in her lap and her head in her hands. After a few minutes passed, she sniffled and looked up, trying to muster the strength to go home. She noticed a message light flashing on her cell phone and read Georgia’s text. She wiped her bloodshot eyes and opened the video, hitting play. “Oh my God,” she mumbled as her parents appeared on screen. There was something so profoundly innocent and beautiful about the way they looked at each other, as if their souls were connecting off in the shadows, when they thought no one was looking. She burst into tears again, unable to control the waterfall gushing from her eyes, and for the first time, not wanting to. She cried and cried. As she watched the images of her parents, a film reel played in her mind with images of Khalil—his pained expressions when he ate spicy food, his silly victory dance when he won a game of Scrabble, the intensity in his dark eyes when he studied, the sympathy on his face when he spoke with his patients, and his broad smile every time Betty walked into a room.
“It’s him. You’re so stupid. It’s always been him,” she muttered. Suddenly, she jumped up and raced to the door, but it flung open before she could reach for the handle, and Khalil stepped inside.
“I came back to make sure you were alright. It kills me to see you so torn up,” he said, looking at her wet, blotchy face. “Don’t be mad. I just want to know if you’re okay.”
“I love you,” she said through her tears. “I’m in love with you.”
His eyes went wide as a huge smiled danced across his face. He put his hand on her cheek, gently wiping away her tears.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever believe in happy endings, but I believe in happy beginnings,” Betty said. “Is that enough?”
“It’s everything,” Khalil whispered. He cupped her face in his hands and they kissed.
